The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
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information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
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My 20 year old daugther still at home and has a job .She did take off for a month though.She has to pay the cell phone bill now that is a cell phone for her brother , myself and her.
She couldnt pay it this month so I was going to pay it .Today was the last day to pay it .Something happen to my check wont get it till tomorrow so she is out this evening I called her and told her to ask the cell phone to wait one more day I could pay it tomorrow she said why cant you do it.I said i dont want to .
wow .... well i hung up and felt bad and was dialing the number and said you know what I am not going to do it .She wants the phones to stay on she can call and if she doesnt and they cut them off i dont know if i will pay it . i have some of my stuff i need to pay it is not like i got a extra money.
this is big for me not to call and fix this for her....
Wow, tough one huh? This is just my opinion and only mine. If the phone is for 3 people and you are one of them then you are responsible for one third of the bill. Offer the cell phone company that and let the other kids come up with their share.
By the way, I love reading your responses to people.
lilms
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Two things: 1. Recovery is a process, not an event.....and.... 2. You only get to go around once. Leave em laughing and make it worth your while
I wish I would have been firm with the cell phone stuff years ago! It sets a precidence for future problems. Did you know you can put cell phones on vacation for like 10.00 a month? They also have major extra charges for not paying on time and one time my daughter's got sky high!!! You need to be really careful with those cell phones. Life goes on if a person does not have one. That is my feeling. So far, the 10.00 a month vacation option has helped my daughter out in times of no income. Those cancellation contracts really get you good! Some of my friends are having their kids use pre-paid cell phones now too. I would say at 20, it is a good time to get a hold of your boundaries to prevent future manipulation and problems. cdb xoxoxoxo
I have fixed some much for the A and he rarely acknowledges it even. I am sick of doing it. So I hold back. I do understand where you are coming from on this. Their entitlement is enormous.
I need to explain a thing or two.She is 20 and pays no bills nothing but pays the cell phone .i understand I have one too but she pays nothing else.I am single mom on disabilty and work part time and she doesnt have to pay any of the rent or etc.
as for no she is not a alcholic she is a good kid sober and works.
That's a really tough predicament to be in, especially when it's your child. I have had my 18 year old daughter do the same thing to me ~ she has a job, will NOT work a second job (as she puts it, "I'm NOT working TWO jobs!") (not that your daughter has said that), and has her cell phone and car insurance bills to pay.
She automatically assumes that if she can't make the payments, or if she runs short of the entire amount of money for them, that I'll cover for her. I did this for her when she was in high school, up until she graduated, because she had to have the ride to school, as we live out of the school zone, and it's a court order for her to have gone to that high school (don't ask ~ long story involving my ex, her dad, lolol!). Plus the drive was about 15 minutes thru the VERY secluded country, winding roads complete with hilly drop-offs, so I wanted her to have a way to contact me if there was an accident (which she did have, by the way, and totalled my paid-for truck).
But I did tell her the other day, after graduation from school, that she WILL be responsible for those bills, and if she doesn't pay them, I WILL NOT pay them. My husband and I are working hard to pay our bills, the IRS for back-taxes on my husband's business, my recovered-a husband's "inmate reimbursement fee" of $5,000 from when he was in jail for dui's, and other household bills (not that I have to justify to her!) So I can't afford to cover what she has to pay, when she is quite capable of working enough to pay them.
It's that she doesn't want to give up her "free" time before going off to college by working all the time. She has used that excuse many times...i.e., "don't want to spend the last summer before college working full-time, don't want to miss such-and-such event by working, don't want to miss the only-sunny-day-left-til-I-die by working, don't want to miss __________" (you fill in the blank).
She's officially an adult now, and she has it great here with only those bills to pay (no rent, as she will be going to college and living at home). I tell her that as long as she works and goes to school, I won't charge her rent, but if she chooses not to apply herself and act like an adult now, she will be off on her own to fend for herself. That's life. I had to do it, you had to do it, we all have to do it at some point, and we learn from our mistakes.
Sorry this was sooo long, LOL, but just my thoughts on it.
