update on jailbird - Al-Anon Family Group

debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

update on jailbird

isabela40 · Senior Member

(((((((((debilyn))))))))))))))))))

So sorry that things are so tough for you right now...I too am going through a rough spell...my husband seems to be ready to have another sort of nervous breakdown...he starts by talking nonsense for days and days, then he begins to act out...each time is worse...

I am taking one day at a time, praying a lot...and trying to do the best I can to always do the right thing, as you do to...

Try to not be anxious about all that is going on around you, I am trying also to not worry too much.

Life in this post 9/11 world is tough....and we have to learn to not let it get to us.

Prayers for you...

Love,

Isabela

maresie2 · ~*Service Worker*~

Well I can definitely understand being fed up being the last one on the list.

I can also understand that you don't want to do the trying anymore.

Your A has made efforts at sobriety maybe his friend's death with prompt him to give it a try.

I am sorry about the problems with the fianances. I know it has been tough for you on many many levels. I also know that your wisdom, humor, candor and love has kept many people going. I know you saved me on so many levels when I first got here with your frank compassionate comfort. One thing I have to say is that maybe because you have been lied to so much and jerked around you are super clear on what is going on for you and you are also super clear on what it is to be involved with an A on any level.

Maresie.

Karilynn · ~*Service Worker*~

((((((((((((((((((Debilyn)))))))))))))))),

I know we are never given more than we can handle, but there are days when I wish the world would stop being so "generous" and giving it all to us.

My hubby just lost another good friend to this horrible disease. The only good that comes out of it, is that this person is no longer being tortured, and it reaffirms hubby's desire to make his sobriety stick.

This is a rough month for hubby and I was well. In his delirium before he went into the hospital, he loaned someone most of his check to a "freind." Guarantee we will never see it again, and he has meds due with no insurance. His tooth is bothering him, etc, etc. But if I can get us through the next week until the 3rd, we should be okay. Somehow the sun always manages to shine even if the darkest of days.

Perhaps there is another way with your A. If he doesn't want a divorce, then perhaps you can persue from your side. The decision is yours.

Hold tight my friend, help is on the way. Be good to yourself and try not to overdue. Meanwhile we've got your back. Try and relax.

Love and blessings to you and all your critters.

Live strong,

Karilynn

Belongtome · Senior Member

Good morning Debilyn...sending you a hug! and best wishes for a moment of true serenity..my wren babies learned to fly yesterday...they were so cute...wish I could learn too.

So, he doesn't want a divorce. Focus on what you want and don't let anything get in your way.

Death really makes us think sometimes doesn't it? I think of others who've gone on, and wonder how long it will take til I'm forgotten...will my grandchildren remember the little things, or have there been some big things.

So glad the rent will be coming in again...our renter moved out, and my A hasn't fixed the bad drain, nor the leak, so I haven't yet advertised for a new tenant...he has loads of time to play golf, but not do repairs. I'm ready to sell it if he doesn't want to fix it.

Good luck with your garden work...my back too has seen better days...I try to garden in small doses now.

Just wanted to offer any comfort that I could...love and hugs, Genie

dori · Senior Member

Hi,

a big Texas hug for my friend deb((((deb)))))

Dont pick up the package if it not yours .You cant put on all the guilt of the world.All you can do what is best for you and change you not him.you cant make it all ok.

I am too sorry for your pain glad you are here

dori

Becky1 · ~*Service Worker*~

((((Debi)))) Not sure if it was appropriate or not, but I got a chuckle out of the title of your post. I love the honesty and candor that makes you, you! Just lay it all out there. Wish I had your style, I'm too wishy-washy sometimes for my own good.

Yes, this disease just keeps on taking and taking once handsome, strong, energetic, loving men from our lives. And some once beautiful, sweet, caring women, too. It seems there is no end of the destruction it leaves in its path.

My AH and I have lost some good friends to A, some by suicide. Seems like it would make him stop and think, but it doesn't appear to. He thinks he is invincible or something.

Good luck with your garden. And good for you about the letter you wrote to your husband. That is a good way to take care of yourself and not fall victim to his disease once again. I know it is so hard, but you have come a lots longer way than I have. I'm still living in the midst of active Aism.

Love in Recovery,

Becky1

Lunamoth · ~*Service Worker*~

((((Debilynn))))

You are in my prayers. Some days the load we carry is just so heavy. I try to stay mindful that just as our best days don't last forever, neither do these rough times. Getting thru them is one step at a time, but we've got to keep moving to get to the clearing. It's in the clearing we can sit in awe at how much HP has given us strength or just plain carried us thru.

I'll be praying serenity will settle in on Eden and you.

(on a side note, I think I'm making the Barnes & Nobel guy mad, he runs from me, cause he knows I'm going to ask him where the Eden book is!!! )

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.