The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have a question for you as a matter of fact 2 or 3 .
Today when I was putting posts on the board, some how my name had a number added to it and couldn't get in. Somehow my password was changed too. Not sure how to get in touch with you. Could you please check into it for me.
Also I was in chat the other day and an Active A was in the room. I remembered how you handled it when I was in the room one day when you were there. I was asking questions the same way today and yesterday as the day when you asked the person to go to the AA room and put them on notice as an active. Well the persons in the room yesterday said I was confrontational just because I asked about policy about active A's being in the room. Wouldn't disguss it and told me to drop it. Then later I asked someone else and they said to ask you. I assumed actives don't belong in the room. Not sure if I'm wrong. The persons defended the active A yesterday and was embarrassing and was pm'd to stay quiet about it. Today it was approached entirely different by different people. I wasn't told to drop it. I was even thanked for helping. This is confusing and is mixed messages.
I thought we were protected from active A's. I am Alanon and ACA and abuse stuff. I've never had a drinking addiction. Aren't I allowed to ask about policy without being told I am the problem. A's did that enough in my life and I don't think its approapriate here. Why should I be threatened to be banned for asking policy about A's being in the room. If we are to be protected, what does that mean then. I get banned because an active A gets defended who was drinking and in chat and certain ones won't allow questions and calls them confrontational and I know they weren't. Can you please let me know. If I'm to do recovery here I want to know whats involved to protect myself.
I hope you think this is just as important as one was in there today and a newcomer was going to leave. Help me on this will you. I want a nice place to do my recovery as I'm sure others do to.
Thanks and hope to hear from you soon.
PS
How do I get the #1 off my name and restore my right password, thanks again
-- Edited by d53sjurne1 at 04:20, 2006-06-20
__________________
I tell myself when times are rough, "this to shall pass!!!" Ask HP for guidance, if the door is open, and I know how to look, I will become aware! I also visit http://www.inspiringthots.net/ . Blessings , Your sister in Recovery
d, hi lady. I know you did not ask me... I guess if I questioned, an active A in the room, I would pm an op and ask them. I would not approach the A. That is me. I remember a long time ago we had a gal who was a regular and she was usually high.
I had to ignore her. We can protect ourselves. I understand how you feel about wanting this to be a safe place. Sometimes I had to remind myself this is like anywhere, there can always be someone around that may not be what they seem.
John has his own style. People are more likely to step away when he is talking. He is the owner of this spot. I don't always agree with him, but I respect the good he does.
I have learned over the years if someone is being inappropriate to ignore them. They want you to respond, that is how they get their thrills. I am not saying the A did that, but if they did then ignore.
What is going on with the move?? update on YOU please. hugs,debilyn
I did not ask the A. I asked some one else and was told that by 2 persons in open chat. Not a meeting that stays where you leave it rule. And today when it happened i helped and was supposedly supported. It seems there are a variety of attitudes here and some with the power to influence others.
On the board it says "Talk it out, work things out." I didn't get that with the drop it attitude. No explanations. As an Alanon I felt I deserved at least that much and a choice to accept or not. None was offered the other day and I felt put down. The active person was defended and helped, not me. I am wondering and I think legitamitly so. My vulnerability comes here as does others. Why can't I have a reasonable explanation of these policies without being talked down to. As a member shouldn't I know how to deal with active A's from a member that knows. I didn't confront the active A. I was told my questions were a confrontation and I asked nicely in my perception and have been very cautious about the way I ask anything lately.
Beings this is a place where the membership group as a whole is the authority thru a loving HP how can a few take action to cause someone to get banned. According to Alanon a few aren't supposed to have that kind of power. It needs to be a majority and I mean most of the group. Not just the words of a couple that might have misunderstood.
So I feel I had a right to "Talk it out, work things out among us."
Blessings and thanks for responding. And I hope its understod that I'm asking about an Actively drinking one not a recovering one that isn't drinking now. I just thought to add that as I don't want to offend anyone. If the room is supposed to be protected I just want to know how.
I know we get kicked to protect it if we don't say hi and thx to protect the room, just not sure on this one Thanks again
__________________
I tell myself when times are rough, "this to shall pass!!!" Ask HP for guidance, if the door is open, and I know how to look, I will become aware! I also visit http://www.inspiringthots.net/ . Blessings , Your sister in Recovery
