well, he has done it again II-help! Am I crazy? - Al-Anon Family Group

sarahlm · Veteran Member

well, he has done it again II-help! Am I crazy?

jrtjosey · ~*Service Worker*~

just because he was in prison, does not mean he did not use, I know from mfamly experience. It is much harder for them in halfway houses to score and they are held much more accountable, with drug screenings. Prisons do not use the same treatment programs available on the outside. They often use other prisoners to teach the treament pograms, my cousin became one of these. It was not till he was on parole did he find AA and NA annd his life changed. Your AH has to find this out for himself, and work his own program. if your boundary is go to halfway house, get a job then we will talk, that is up to you to set that boundary for yourself. And only you can enforce your boundary you set. Remember Al-Anon keeps the focus on your recovery, not his.

Josey

debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

All I can say, from what you wrote is, he is a very sick man, not on a program of recovery. My experience is they love to take things wrong and personal. Everything is about them uno? YOU did nothing wrong.

I stopped questioning me a long time ago. I don't take any responsibility for his insanity. I know me, I care about me.

I know I would never do anything to hurt anyone or anything on purpose. This is part of what I have learned in alanon. When things seem crazy, they are. And it is all aism so why give it any thought?

Please, please go do something for you. Focus away from the madness, do something normal. Don't let the pit suck you in. Once you stay away long enough, you will think, wow did I really think "I" was the one who was nuts?

hugs, love,debilyn who's A is in jail too and to heck with him. He has nowhere to go and good for him, maybe he will get sick of the shelter... who knows.

maresie2 · ~*Service Worker*~

I think As are very good at playing perfect victim and then trying to project it all over others.

For me personally in recovery I have to focus on my issues. What can you do to take care of you? How can you stop obsessing about this letter? How can you start work on your issues and your life.

I have been there and done that with rescuing A's, feeling sorry for them and putting them before me. I am rescued out personally. My A does not think for one second about my needs, my goals or my issues. He thinks only of himself. He always has some crazy harebrained scheme going. He has a skin/muscle condition that makes it very difficult for him to be in the sunlight, yet he wanted to go work in Iraq for some contractor. Then of course he thought they would overlook his felonies too. I guess he is good at living in a fantasy. So was I to think he might be available to me on any level.

These days I really do believe I deserve better. Unentangling ourselves from an A can of course take some of us years. I am 6 months in and still not there but I have plans these days and they are workable plans rather than something I beat msyelf up with.

Maresie.

nycbt · ~*Service Worker*~

Welcome to MIP. You are not alone. There a lot of people who understand.

World Service Organization Website –

WWW.al-anon.alateen.org

Alanon meetings 1-888-425-2666

Al-Anon Family Groups UK & Eire
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Tel: 020 7403 0888

http://www.al-anonuk.org.uk/

Chat room is open 24/7 there here the link to www.mipchat.net or http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html

Here are some things that have helped me since in the program.

Go face to face meeting & online meeting.
post on the board here on the site. I have gotten a lot of good feed back.

· In this program u learn that u have choices. In Alanon we don’t give advice but only suggestions.

· Set support system. people do not judge. You need someone who can go for coffee on a bad day, or pick up a phone and call when in trouble. The support is what is important when you first this program.

Have a sponsor. Someone work one on one with you.

You don’t have to do this the minute u come to the program but I suggest that u do it when u can. It help.

Meeting schedule: meetings are in here and run approximately 90 minutes from: Monday-Friday, 9 am and 9 pm EST, Saturday: 10 am and 9 pm EST, Sunday: 10 am and 7 pm EST. Topics are selected by participants at meeting time. UK +5 hours, central -1 hour, mountain -2 hours, pacific -3 hours. Open chat all other times.

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.