Mira,

I am new here but hopefully I can help a little bit.  I have times when I get so overwhelmed I just don't know which plate to jump in first. 

One day I told a friend "I think my higher power decided I was worrying too much about everyone else's problems so he just kept piling things on my plate until I got to the point that when I woke up in the morning I couldn't remember who or what it was I was supposed to be worried about first".

With the help of a sponsor and my higher power, I soon learned how to disect my plate.  Piece by piece I would take each thing and look at it closely.  Then I would ask myself if there was anything at all that I could actually do about this piece on my plate.  If the answer was nothing, then I made myself let go of it.  I continued around the plate applying the same theory to each one and letting go of the things I could do nothing about.

I soon discovered that I had only one thing left on that plate and it was me.  Now that one I could do something about.  That is why I am still in Alanon and still reaching out for help and giving help when it is asked for.

As for the future, it will take care of itself.  All any of us have is today.  We can't fix or change yesterday and we haven't been blessed with tomorrow yet so we take today and do the best we possibly can with it. 

When you don't know what to do next is the time that you do absolutely nothing.  Give it a rest, the answer will come to you and probably when you least expect it.

(((((( Miranda )))))

I totally understand how you feel, I get overwhelmed pretty easily & I don't have any children or an active A that I'm living with...  just me & the 3 adoring cats... once I begin to cry they flock around me lending their support.

Depression grabs a hold of me, feels like your heart is ripped out or you're drowning...  I was under for 2 months, the accident & becoming so soft & weak this passed year (in bed for 2 months @ different times) really sucked the life out of me.

Now I am trying to think about getting up, dusted off, clean up the house ~ looks like a cyclone hit it as last year I really let it ALL GO while I focused on my insides.

Did you see the post by John cd The Awakening? It inspired me enough today to save the text to my word program ~ figured if I get bummed out, I'll read it.

Also I caught myself not praying & not surrendering to HP's Divine Plan, taking on too much mentally...  seems so simple but I forget or stop as I'm not in the habit so that's when I slip & slide into old tapes & the depression soon follows.  So many years of being negative & hateful to myself, if I don't work VERY hard, consciously & diligently every day, I slip.  It's like the "bunny hop" one jump forward (skip a day) and 2 jumps back!!!

Don't forget to do something nice for you, even a hot bath & turning off your mind for a few minutes, really goes a long way.  I get good smelling epsom salts from the $1 store 15 or 20 minutes does wonders!

Do something nice for you...  I have slogans, mantras, reminders & messages taped up everywhere, even around my monitor.

I get overwhelmed by goals too...  a made a new friend recently, he's 9 yrs younger than me, didn't grow up with alcoholism yet he's been so positive, he tells me (like cleaning up my depressing, over whelming messy condo) to think of it in zones, or only do it (cleaning or excersize) for 15 or 20 minutes... reminding me that baby steps, even microscopic ones are STILL forward.

I've always been relatively anti-social, as a kid I only wanted to be the apple of my mother's eye, he said, "Since you don't care about what society thinks & you're no longer living for your parents ~ Live for Yourself & Love Yourself, Kitten" -- it was such a great sentence, I wrote that down & taped it up!  Right now I'm hanging by a thread so the littlest thing, feels like a mountain of joy & I'm hanging on!!!

Another wonderful friend in the Program told me, "Love comes from inside of you" so remembering to tap into it is all I need do (thanks bud) nat(urally) I wrote that one down too, if I don't write it down so I can see it in my face, I forget fast.  I am worthwhile & deserve the very best, we all do!!!

Praying for lots of love & joy to surround you and may HP send Angels to ease & comfort you.  Amen.

Your Friend in Recovery, Love, -Kitty of Light