The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have a court fixture this morning where my divorce application is being called.
We're a no fault jurisdiction so it should be straight forward.
I'm looking forward to the end of marriage being official. A bit nervous about appearing. But mostly looking forward to it being done.
Some of my family don't get why this is a big deal for me. Sometimes I think they just suck. It's a significant marker of my life journey and I intend to have a celebratory dinner to mark it.
-- Edited by A4L2 on Thursday 5th of November 2026 11:45:16 AM
Well, I'm now officially divorced. Weirdly, I didnt expect to feel sad and emotional.
14 years and you get a little piece of paper of four lines and a stamp. I dont regret it but it is sad when an ideal is irrevocably ended.
I'm going to have a little sob session before baking bread rolls ( therapeutic ) and collecting the kids from school.
It's a difficult emotional valley to cross, divorce. It may be for the best, but behind it all, there's still the weird grief, the grief for what you thought you had - the hopes, dreams and aspirations, and the brutal reality of what it was comes with the finality of seeing it on paper.
Take some time to reflect on matters, as we say in Al-Anon - look back but don't stare.
Let It Begin With Me. You're taking positive steps to your recovery. All your feelings are valid. It's OK to have a cry, but dust yourself down and keep moving forward x.
Thanks Jitsuka.
I don't cry generally and have had a lifetime of stuffing emotions. I'm a lawyer by training now, as well, so I enjoyed the advocacy part and approached it as if i were appearing for soneone else. I realised I miss lawyering.
I made an impulse purchase afterwards of new dining chairs omg lol. I was thinking of buying a coffee table to match but caught myself. Traditionally, my go to reactions to emotional pain were to distract myself. I would drink, have sex, smoke cigarettes, call my ex, or go on a mass shopping spree. Drinking i don't miss. Sex....what even is that lol. I'm proud that callling my ex is no longer anything more than a fleeting impulse, and i quit smoking 15 months ago. Shopping is a problem for me at time's but im glad i stopped myself from blowing my savings completely and came home to bake and cry. This is progress for me. Allowing my tears to fall instead of being ashamed and angry for perceived weakness or rushing to numb pain.
Numbing pain is how i ended up in an alcoholic marriage.
Isn't life interesting?
