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I'm still trying to get over the last two weeks with my AH home from work, lying to me, and being drunk when I get home. Over the weekend I was surrounded by alcoholics and their problems. My AH was with us and that guy can drink! I thought my AH could. Anyway, we were camping at a biker rally (I'm not into motorcycles at all, but I work part time for the people that put the rally on).
Anyway, a guy at the campsite next to us died Sunday morning from alcohol poisoning. He was only 33!! He was snoring in his tent one minute and fifteen minutes later, he was dead. He was with a huge group of people and not a single one of them tried CPR or anything. It was about 7:30 in the morning and most of them were still drunk, I'm sure. This guy was a big drinker and he was drinking from a jug of moonshine. They had him wrapped in a sleeping bag until the coronor could get there. We had to walk around this every time we left our campsite. I was horrified by this, but no one else seemed to care that much.
Even after seeing this, my AH still popped a beer at 9:30 in the morning! I don't know if he's going to end up like that, but I would think it would wake him up somewhat.
"A"s are great with denial and not seeing what they don't want to see. Your "A" probably made no connection to this guys death and the beer he had.
Most of the men in my "A"s family have dies from liver problems related to alcoholism. He has seen his brothers destroy their lives due to addictions. And yet he does not choose to go down a different path.
It is hard when they do not see the road they are walking down, but I have learned to keep my eyes on my path and not his. If I don't then I will end up flat on my face because I tripped over something that I should have seen.
Keep coming back.
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"Today's problems can not be solved if we still think the way we did when we created them" -Albert Einstein
My A snores too, and he was told it is because of his disease..he does stupid things, like "eating a Xanax (?) bar" and drinking til he blacks out on Rum, beer, wine, whatever.
I was told he is in his late stages of alcoholism, he JUST turned 32, looks 44.
i dont mean to sound cold here, but i prayed for my "A" too....and god is NOT going to interfer in our choices........if an "A" wants to drink???? it is **choice and free will** no hp is gonna interfer in choice and free will.......we have to WANT recovery....we have to be HUMBLE and ASK for recovery......as long as those feelings are there???? there is NO hope, but to take care of us....like someone said wisely on this thread......keep looking on my path, cuz thats the ONLY path i can..........
i had to get HUMBLE...REAL humble, and be HONEST....OPEN....WILLING......willing to shed my DENIAL to get help.....i call me a 5 time winner......1--used to abuse alcohol to numb mypain....now dealing with it SOBER.............2--i am in alanon cuz of my two brothers drinking themselves to death.........3--i am adult child of "A"s and overcomming one by one the issues THEY caused me.........4---i am codependent REdiscovering myself for the FIRST time in my life, and AS i find me, i find my HP within me......AND 5--i am surviver of child abuse and now learning ways to take care of me/ love me and accept me so my abusers cannot hurt me anymore with the old messages they left me with.......
it was my CHOICE to heal......i was TIRED of the PAIN and decided to drag me in to recovery adn DEAL, so i can be DONE with this hell......ONE day at a time i am doing it......PROGRESS rather than perfection, and i am very satisfied with progress...........
Thanks, Rosie, for giving us a view from the "other side" which is so foreign to some of us, myself very much included. I do not claim to know or understand why my A does what he does. And I agree with you that God is not going to interfere with our free will, but I do believe we have a loving HP who is watching out for us. Just my opinion. I too, pray for my A, and other people daily, or hourly if needed. It keeps me sane and is something I do for myself. My A is pretty close to being a non-believer, and I attribute this to his being raised in a very restrictive religious home. Just my opinion, again. But, he does not ever pray or acknowledge a HP. But I do, and I don't try to influence him one way or the other. My beliefs are mine, and his are his.
Any way, glad you are here to offer your insight and wisdom from "both sides of the fence".
wow, Lindy, that is very sad and scary. When things like that happen it makes the problems of our loved ones seem so much more real and so much more scary. My A uses a drug called DXM and is part of an online community that has to do with this drug. In the last year or so there has been at least 3 or 4 people that he knew online that have died. I believe that some or maybe even all of them were suicides, however I feel that the drug may have been involved in some of these cases. It scares me to think that something like this could happen to my A and hearing stories that are so closely related make my fears so much more real. I can't begin to imagine how it must have felt for you to be so close to this man when he died. I hope that your A will think more about what happened and maybe it can help him in some way or be some kind of wake up call. Best of luck to both of you.
It keeps me sane and is something I do for myself. My A is pretty close to being a non-believer, and I attribute this to his being raised in a very restrictive religious home. Just my opinion, again. But, he does not ever pray or acknowledge a HP. But I do, and I don't try to influence him one way or the other. My beliefs are mine, and his are his.