The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Ok so my realtor is coming tomorrow to take pics of the house for listing. We have known about this for a week. My AH won't get off his butt to do anything to prepare. Yesterday he DID work on the air handler but got so frustrated b/c he couldn't figure it out, he just gave up. And granted the air handler needs to be fixed ASAP!!! before listing.....other things need to be done before pics can be taken. Like cleaning the house, hanging up the shower curtain rod that my AH assisted in jerking out of the wall when yelling at my son, cleaning up clutter & packing it away, hauling crap to the dump and to Goodwill.
My son isn't doing much better either. I worked all day yesterday and then went to the grocery store and charged $200 to my Visa just so I didn't have to hear how there isn't anything to eat. When I got home, they were playing video games. They did get up and help haul in & put away the groceries but immediately went back to their games. When I asked what they wanted for dinner, my AH said they would make dinner and that I should go change my clothes and relax. 1st of all - RELAX??? What the heck is he thinking...we have work to do. 2nd of all - he didn't make dinner at all. He had my 12 year old son make tacos. That is fine - my son needs to look to make dinner but HE didn't do a dag on thing but play games. And after dinner I CLEANED the kitchen. Neither of them offered to help me w/the house. Not while I struggled w/heavy boxes down the stairs or putting them in my car....nothing. And my son made the comment...boy you really do want to get out of here. DUH - what the heck have I been saying for the last 6 months? GEEZZZ People - I have run out of money...can't pay the mortgage for this big house on my piddley salary. Why aren't they getting it? I understand my son not quite grasping it - he is following his dad's lead....but why can't my AH grasp it? He seems to think that everything will be alright. That we'll get the money we need somehow.
Man oh man am I fried today. And after such a good end of the week last week. I was up and feeling good about things....now today BAM - I feel like wringing someone's neck - mainly my AH. Oh thanks for letting me vent.
You A is brain damaged an an A that is why he doesn't get it! But you can assign areas for your kids to work in too, for short periods of time. There is no reason they can't help. We do 20 minute spurts around here, the 3 of us get a lot done in 20 minutes, and we a set the time limit I don't get near the resistance from my one son. They were amazed the first time we did it. We don't say the basement, we say a specific area and real zone in on it and it works!
Hey you are getting closer, don't give up now! Realators are good at shooting the best shots for the house, they want to sell it as much as you. They are not going to show the worst spot in a room. Clean 3 sides and have them take the picture that way. You can work on the rest later! Cheat it is OK. Don't try to be Superwoman. You are on the home stretch, hang in there.
Josey
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Julianne - It's best to move on. You cannot look back in anger in life. It's too short
I have similar issues with my A. He is like a brick wall when it comes to certain issues and I always feel like I am carrying the whole bag on the household tasks. I have been asking him to mow the lawn for 2 months now. Nothing changes in that regard. What does change is that I no longer see it as a reflection on me.
I also take time out for me like coming to this room (good for you that you come here to sound off). I take a lot more time for me these days and stop trying to be perfect. Living with an A is very stressful.
