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Hi everyone- Some of you might remember me if you don`t here`s a short history.I`ve been married to my A for 18 years,we have 4 children.October of last year my sister told her A husband she was leaving him because of his drinking.He waited for her to fall asleep and then shot her in the back of the head then sat on her and shot himself.They both died.they left behind 4 great kids.
In December my A`s drinking got so crazy and out of control and I couldn`t take the lies anymore so I kicked him out.He is still drinking and I`ve had to put a ppo out on him because he scares me.He doesn`t pay any money to help support his kids..I am their sole support. He lives with his brother who has finally had enough and kicked him out.He wants to come back home and i told him No.He keeps calling me and saying stuff like..you dont care if I`m homeless or if I die...etc. I still love him but since he has been gone I have been free to be me and I love it.No tension in the house...my kids are happier...and so am I. I miss him but not enough to give up my new found freedom.I`m not seeing anyone...I`m just living my life MY WAY for a change and it feels Damn good. Am I wrong? Am I cold?
I never use to feel this way.I thought I couldn`t live without him.Now I know I can. Please give me some feedback....thanks
You are not being cold, you are being honest with yourself, and him. And allowing him to face the consequences of his choices, may be what he needs to do.
You need to take care of you and your kids.
__________________
"Today's problems can not be solved if we still think the way we did when we created them" -Albert Einstein
Good for you!!!! NOOOO you are doing great. He needs to be miserable and homeless. He needs to be so sick and feeling alone that he will do anything to get better.
I am so glad for you. So freeing isn't it. Please enjoy this time. Hand him over to his hp and you be happy. love,debilyn
OMG - I am so sorry about your sister. That must be really hard for you. (((allison)))
As far as enjoying your freedom now that he is gone....go for it girl. I think that if/when I am apart from my AH, I will feel the same. I have been married for 13-1/2 years and I know I can support myself and our 2 children. I am actually working towards that goal as a plan B. And I know that if that time comes, I will probably find that I enjoy the "Freedom" just as you.
Do not allow him to guilt you into allowing him back. If you want him back, then fine. But if you don't, then tough doo-doo for him. He made his bed, now he has to sleep in it - or so to speak. You do what you need to and want to for YOU and for your kids. Let him worry about himself. - You go girl!!!
I'm so sorry to hear about your sister and her kids. Who is taking care of the kids now? I don't think you're wrong to not let him come back. That's not cold at all. HE is the one who put himself in the situation he is in and if he ends up homeless because of it, it's his own damn fault. Don't let him give you the guilt trips. YOU didn't do anything wrong. A's always blame someone else for everything that they have done to themselves. Just keep remembering how happy your kids are without him. Keep it running through your head if you get the urge to take him back. Good luck and I hope everything goes well for you.
