"And it’s very weird when you cut the dependent ties in both directions. I feel very floating. What I do / how I feel, no longer seems contingent on what he does or how he feels and it’s somewhat destabilizing at this stage."

I can sort of understand what you mean (( Dog )) when I first went through this process, I felt a liberation & freedom but maintaining that feeling wasn't so easy for me & still detachment if difficult, as my A's are in my family.

I do know that I'm terrible at setting goals & when I think too much about the future, I have anxiety attacks & lose all hope, I have to stay centered in the now, the present.... 

As for your rhetorical questions about "what will happen..." I think you answer it beautfiully in your last sentence, with God, ODAT & having the patience to allow thing to unfold is all any of us can do. I do know from the past, trying to force relationships does little other than sabatoge them all together.

Sounds like you are on the right track, it only feels a little "destabilizing" b/c it is new, hang in there, before long I'm sure if you stay on your present course, you will begin to feel more grounded.

Over the years, I've learned to accept things as they happen & to remind myself to surrender my will over to God's, surely HP's plans are grander than anything I can imagine...  fighting it only gets me into difficulties.

Love, a sister in recovery, -Kitty Light