The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Just as soon as I begin to believe I have a pretty good handle on my recovery, my HP has another layer of emotions to heal. Just when I believe, I am content with all He has blessed me with He blesses me with more.
I found out about an hour ago that our oldest daughter is in rehab, and has been for almost two weeks. She has struggled with alcohol and drugs for probably 8-10 years, not really sure when she started using. She has never done inpatient treatment, only outpatient. We had to stop all contact with her, long story, but that is what was healthy for each of us separately and together.
It is great to know that she has made the step into recovery, everytime is one more chance that the spiritual awakening will happen in her . . .
So why does Mr. FEAR have to come visit me? I truly don't like him. Fear so wants to control my life, I don't want him to anymore - somedays my name could be Rita G______ Fear - I hate it when he evades Ritaville - so I am doing a little venting to get rid of him - after all what is the worst thing that can happen - she won't stay and will go back out right? But if she goes back out now, she will go back out with 2 plus weeks of healthy thinking that she never had before inside to help fight this disease - but why expect the worse for the future when I can sit and enjoy the best in today, if you would have asked me this morning if I had one wish to make today a perfect day, it would have been that she could have the joy and peace of recovery . . .
So I accept today for what it is, a blessing
Thanks for letting me share,
Rita
__________________
No matter what me and my God are going to be ok, even better than OK -
(((((( Rita! )))))) Thanks for sharing about your daughter.
It's so hard to let someone close to us, someone we love and care about, to have their own process, isn't it?
I went through so much, for some years, with my son who was dual-diagnosed with schizophrenia and drug and alcohol addiction. He was so close to losing his life, many a time, I felt sure. But some higher power was watching over him and me, because he did eventually try treatment and recovery. He had some major slips for some months, but he'd seen enough by then to know for himself that there really was only one way to go if he wanted to live.
He's doing really well now. We've both come a long way with our respective recoveries, and we are a terrific mutual support team now. But it took lots of time and heartbreak before we got to this place. And LOTS of practice with letting go on my part!
I wish you strength and courage as you face this with your daughter, and just keep focussing on your own recovery, no matter what, because that's really all we CAN do. The rest of it is up to your daughter and her choices. You can pray for her, but there isn't any way that we can do someone else's recovery. The most loving thing you can do for her is to just show her what you are doing for yourself.
So far as I can see, there is no downside to rehab - as you say, at the very worst, she will have had a chance to absorb some healthy thinking, and make some healthy contacts.
The fear may be because, so often in our lives, a change means "a change for the worse". We get so, even if present reality is bad, we cling to it because it is familiar. This might be one of those times when you can say to yourself. - "Feelings are not facts" - allow yourself to feel the fear, but there is no need to act on it.
hugs rita, hey my serenity, no fear, comes from faith. It came when I truly surrrendered to my hp, and put my A in my hp's hands.
I always feel now, no matter what it will be ok. It is hard sometimes, like right now my adoptive mom has pnemonia. I have lost everyone in my blood family except my kids. This woman is everything to me. I have to work hard to believe if she passes I can go on and it will be ok. That she won't be in pain anymore.
yuck. so I know how you feel. Plus this is your child. That makes it so hard.
You sound wonderful. Your serenity is growing. love,debilyn
