The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Processing the alcoholic marriage and hearing others stories, this is a common feature. The constant trips to retrieve forgotten items, usually at a store, as an excuse to secretly take a drink.
For myself, I can honestly say I never consciously at the time connected the frequent trips to the shop or to retrieve forgotten items as being trips to take a drink. I viewed them as inefficient and stupid. I connected it was an excuse to get out of the house but didn't quite think about why. Maybe that was my mind protecting me or maybe I was just busy. I do recall stating like mother to slow child that it's an inefficient use of time to go to the shop several times during a task and to instead have everything ready. I recall a sulking shadow when I would buy milk in bulk and now I connect why that was such a big deal to that guy. It's surreal almost to look over those times and I'm glad they're over.
Take care all.
Thank you for your share. In the early days of my alcoholic marriage, I also did not connect all the little trips away from the house were the drinking opportunities. Denial? Head in the sand? Avoiding reality? I literally did not know for many years my spouse was drinking, until it got to the point of slurring words, being off balance walking, and smelling alcohol on the breathe. Then there were several years of my being fuming angry, trying to change this person, and offering every kind of help I could possibly think of. When I was completely worn out, as a last resort, I came to MIP and found Betty. Then with meetings and my sponsor, I came to my senses and could start this very long but great journey of recovery. Almost 15 years in alanon now, and it's one of the best moves I've made in my life. Grateful member always. :)
