The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Processing the alcoholic marriage and hearing others stories, this is a common feature. The constant trips to retrieve forgotten items, usually at a store, as an excuse to secretly take a drink.
For myself, I can honestly say I never consciously at the time connected the frequent trips to the shop or to retrieve forgotten items as being trips to take a drink. I viewed them as inefficient and stupid. I connected it was an excuse to get out of the house but didn't quite think about why. Maybe that was my mind protecting me or maybe I was just busy. I do recall stating like mother to slow child that it's an inefficient use of time to go to the shop several times during a task and to instead have everything ready. I recall a sulking shadow when I would buy milk in bulk and now I connect why that was such a big deal to that guy. It's surreal almost to look over those times and I'm glad they're over.
Take care all.
Thank you for your share. In the early days of my alcoholic marriage, I also did not connect all the little trips away from the house were the drinking opportunities. Denial? Head in the sand? Avoiding reality? I literally did not know for many years my spouse was drinking, until it got to the point of slurring words, being off balance walking, and smelling alcohol on the breathe. Then there were several years of my being fuming angry, trying to change this person, and offering every kind of help I could possibly think of. When I was completely worn out, as a last resort, I came to MIP and found Betty. Then with meetings and my sponsor, I came to my senses and could start this very long but great journey of recovery. Almost 15 years in alanon now, and it's one of the best moves I've made in my life. Grateful member always. :)
Thank you both of you for your shares.... With my little brother it's always going Mia and not answering calls or texts so I know he's smoking pot again I don't think he's drinking because he got the you know what scared out of him with his liver but who knows? I do know he's smoking pot because some of our mutual friends have told me and he is a scatterbrain with a capital s and it's the the drugs..... He's had a headlamp for his car to fix the right headlamp our friend longtime friend bought it for him back in November and it's still sitting on his front seat but yet he'll find time to go smoke with his friends when he's not working.... So far he's a functioning user as it used to be functioning alcoholic now it's functioning marijuana but you know he's in his seventies now and I told him I said I know this is your business and I'm not telling you what to do but as you get older it's going to get harder and harder on you and he just blows me off like I don't know what I'm talking about.... And I can tell when he's using because not only do I get the not returned phone calls and texts but if I say anything that even sounds like and I call it esh because I'm not telling him what to do I'm just sharing with him the stuff I suffered with my screwed up mental illness but he gets all nasty and all of that he can be so sweet one minute and then snap my head off the next so I just have to disengage I just have to not have contact and just detach with a lot of love until he can have a civil and sweet conversation with me..... The old Rosie would have gotten all been out of shape and obsessive over him because he's the only sibling I have left drugs killed my other little baby brother and I'm still getting over him and it's been a year now as of February 26th and I just don't want to lose another one but there again I'm powerless there's nothing I can do except pray for him and just keep working my program
