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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> i think it's a problem
Post Info TOPIC: i think it's a problem
serendipity


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i think it's a problem
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my a called a bit ago to talk to the kids. he had not called mon. or tues. and called and left a message yesterday on my cell. he says he is not using but i don't believe it. he is at his mother's. i wasted an hour putting him down and listening to his insanity. that it was me that kept him away from his family. he tried to run his brother over in a crack indused psycosis!!!! as if i am so all powerful that i can control how other people behave. i said that was news to me. and so that must mean that i could have stopped my father from dying and i could have stopped him from everything he has done to hurt me, the kids and himself. i said that i am so powerful that i must therefore be responsible for how others behave! damn i should write this down....in a big book....and then everyone would live by my rules and life would be perfect. maybe i am god?!?! well, i said thank you so much for letting me know that i have all the control and his family are just my pawns to use and discard as i see fit. i choose to discard them. in fact, i order them to fall off the face of the earth.. any problems that any of y'all want me to take care of? why do i waste my time? i know better but as you know this isn't the first time i have done this recently. yes today was hard:rent due no money to pay it, going thru dad's stuff, checking overdrawn 500 dollars, etc. but i did not make it better by being a b*%@$. although i was very clever and i thought i was funny. i am sicker than i want to be...

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Karilynn


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(((((((((((((Serendipity))))))))),

We are all sicker than we want to be. But that's why we come to Alanon: to recover. It's hard not to fall prey to the A's games. We just have to stay ever vigilant in our recovery. Don't be so hard on yourself. I can't tell you the number of times I have slipped. We're human. The cool thing about getting sick, is tha we have the ability to get better, just by choice. We don't have to run to the doctors for meds like when I get the flu. All we have to do is pick ourselves up and turn on the computer. Much cheaper than the doctor's.

Hang in there and keep looking up. Things do get better. Love and blessings to you and your family.

Live strong,
Karilynn

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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
drucilla06


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-- Edited by drucilla06 at 22:38, 2006-06-01

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Jennifer


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(((Serendipity)))


Been there too .... almost exactly minus the part about running someone over ... I am sicker than I thought too ... my first thought was to aslk if my ex inlaws to be could go along on the ride with yours?


I'm sorry for the frustration and pain you feel. It is so easy at times to listen to the insanity and almost want to believe in someting even when your mind knows better. One reaction does not define who you are or who you will and want to be. Be kind to yourself. <big hug>


Jennifer



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Rita G


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Serendipity or should i say  o, great and powerful one, ha ha - just kidding - my a was all about telling me how i was so "holier than thou" and "not everyone can be perfect like you".  we totally put the dys in dysfunctional. 


Learning to not react to their baiting is hard, but sometimes it helps, and sounds like you are so on your way to getting there - thanks for sharing  -


My favorite slogan . . . How important is it . . and if doesn't affect my breathing it may not be that important.


See ya,


Rita


 


 



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No matter what me and my God are going to be ok, even better than OK - teamwork.gif
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