The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Just thinking out loud here. Ever since I asked hubby to leave, I have been awfully calm about all of this. I'm wondering if I'm almost too calm.
Now granted I don't have the chaos to come home too because he was drinking. I am slowly putting the house back in order. Time to put up the July 4th/summer decorations. While I get moments where I really miss him, I get through it very quickly. I mean I still love him very much, and miss sober hubby and all the fun we use to have. But why am I so calm. Sure, I'm a bit uptight about paying the bills on my own. But here again, I can't do anything about that. It is what it is. This would usually freak me out, and I'd stress about it, before the bills even arrived. Here again, I am very relaxed about all of this. I'm not even upset about being swicthed to working nights. Lol I'm usually in bed by 9pm . After all I need my beauty rest. But there is an upside to working nights. I get my morning meetings in here.
I have the next 2 days off, and I even told hubby that he could come over (as long as he's sober, and after my meetings) so we could talk if he wanted too. We'll see what happens. But regardless of that outcome, I intend to enjoy my days off. Two whole Piper Days! Whoo hoo! Yes, it includes some chores, and the weather is suppose to be hot and sticky (). But I will make the best of it.
Is this what the program is all about? Teaching us how to deal with the chaos in our lives, and changing ourselves? I believe that it is. It give me even more incentive to keep working my program, goback and rework the steps. Time to concentrate on me. Maybe this is what we talk about Ltting Go and Letting God. Trusting that my HP has a plan for me and hubby eventhough I don't have a clue what that is. It is what it is. Thanks to all of you here for helping me, and giving me ESH. We can come out the other side.
Love and blessings to all of you and yours.
Live strong,
The very relaxed Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
__________________
It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
I looked it up......."clear and calm....unruffled.....placid......tranquil.....unperturbed"....YEP!!! THAT's IT!!!! SERENITY!!!!!!!!
I totally relate.....but it's a wierd feeling isn't it? LOL. I keep looking behind me as though I'm expecting someone or something to creep up and snatch it all back from me.....LOL.
Oh THANK YOU GOD FOR ALANON and dear friends like you. I feel so blessed!!!
Big hugs for you and Ruby sends big,wet,sloppy kisses to Piper.
I was reminded recently not to second guess myself. If you think it's too good to be true, it is, because it's going to get even better. I have always expected the "other shoe to fall" until I realized that it's my expectations that can actually affect outcomes for me! So now I put energy into positive things, and your sense of gratitude having set a powerful boundary is so courageous. It's so easy to fall back on old conditioning, to fold..but instead you count your blessings and make your plans to make the most of difficult situations. You truly inspire me
As always David you are an inspiration. Someone sent me a message and I thought it was beautiful. I would like to share it with you, so here goes.
I'M FREE
Don't grieve for me for now I'm free
I'm following the path God laid for me.
I took his hand when I heard him call;
I turned my back and left it all.
I could not stay another day,
To laugh to love to work or play.
Tasks left undone must stay that way;
I found that place at the close of day.
If my parting has left a void,
Then fill it with remembered joy.
A friendship shared, a laugh, a kiss;
Ah yes, these things, I too will miss.
Be not burdened with times of sorrow
I wish you the sunshine of tomorrow.
My life's been full, I savoured much;
Good friends, good times, a loved ones touch.
Perhaps my time seems all too brief.
Don't lengthen it now with undue grief.
Lift up your heart and share with me, God wanted me now,
He set me free.
I thought this was very beautiful and thoughtful. I am trying my best to listen to what it says and try to move on. It made me cry and I am full of grief. However, I know Dan wanted me to be happy so I am trying so hard. I hate to go home. I have lived in this apartment since 4-25 but I have stayed maybe 8 nights here. I end up going to spend the night at different friend's houses because they are kind and seem to share in my grief. I guess they know how lonely I am. It's funny, when I was with my A I wished he would just go somewhere so I could have some time to myself. Now I have that time and I hate it. I miss talking to you. Hope to see you online soon.
. After all I need my beauty rest. 
But there is an upside to working nights. I get my morning meetings in here. 
). But I will make the best of it. 
