The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Have you ever looked in the mirror and said: "God, I can't believe this is my Life"
Prior to recovery everyday in my life, I remember looking in my mirror, trying to get ready for work, dark circles from no sleep, a night of worry, financial woes, fretting about my daughters, wondering what my h had done the night before, walking into the front of the house, finding more cigarette burns in the floor, food everywhere, him passed out in the middle of the floor, etc. . . I so wanted to die - I prayed everyday for God to let me drive me off the bridge to not feel this way any more, at least the girls would have the life insurance money to live on, I had no Hope - "God, I can't believe this is my Life"
Now, I truly wake up thinking, "God, I can't believe this is my Life!!" I am so truly blessed - I have a peace in my soul that can't be stolen away by this horrible disease unless I let it. A reassurance that No matter what, together my HP & I will be ok - even better than OK.
Did I get there overnight, no way - no how, it was tough and it the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. You could ask my sponsor & my home group - who helped guide me through the slogans, when the steps were just to much for me; about the times I sat in meetings and cried so hard I couldn't even say my name, the ones I called when my daughter had her first attempted suicide, the daughter, who is still "out there", and has two beautiful children that I don't get to be a grandma to, they could share about how I've been able to let go of the guilt and shame of my past and how it hurt to do so, how we made it through 13 funerals in one year,
I tell you this things not for sympathy, but to share with you there is a better way - for me it is Al-Anon . . . There are also blessings in my recovery, my h, actually has 3 plus years in AA (he started recovery before me), we lived apart for a year & 1/2, but are back together - living in a household where HP, Recovery are our main focus. I have the pleasure of sponsoring great newcomers to my home group and the hope that there will always be an open chair for my daughter that I believe needs AA and the daughters that I believe need Al-Anon - whenever they are ready . . .
Yes, I just must share, "God, I can't believe this is my Life"
thanks for letting me share how wonderful Al-Anon has worked for me,
Don't Give up before the miracles happen in you,
Rita
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No matter what me and my God are going to be ok, even better than OK -
I will forever be a work in progress but I am grateful everyday for this program and how it and I was able to change my life. I truly did have an "awakening". Not just of general realizition, but mind and spirit too.
Christy
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
Thanks for the inspirational post. It gives me hope. When I read it I thought...can it really be like this? With faith in HP and alanon I pray that I can feel this way someday.
I love myself too much to give up. I am a strong, compassionate, loving, genuine, honest woman who relies on faith and self confidence to get me through the WORST time in my life, living with alcoholism and losing the love of my life because HIS disease destroyed (almost) my sanity and self esteem.
Your story touched my very soul, and gives me hope that someday there will be a better life, for both myself and my A. I pray that my HP will give me the strength and courage I need to reach that point as I truly believe there is a better life out there if we strive to find it though detachment. Thanks, so much for your post.
