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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> My insanity circle
Post Info TOPIC: My insanity circle
Tazz


Newbie

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Date:
My insanity circle
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Hi all, I guess I sould start off by saying I am new to the Al-Anon group. A good friend has been shareing her experiances and encouraging me to attend. I went to a confrence, and I really enjoyed it. I thought that Al-Anon may be the starting point I was looking for. After a very rough couple of days, I got up the nerve to attend a meeting with this friend. We choose a meeting close to my home, not her normal meeting. However I was very disappointed, and upon leaving the meeting she said I would need to find a stronger group to attend. So in the mean time I wound up here.


I am a very stuborn person, nobody can tell me there is anything I can not do. Therefor I find my self reacting to situations instead of looking at what I want. I have done this for so long I really don't know who I am, or what I want.


Sorry this post is likely to get quite long...I got married at 18 to someone that was 12 years older than me. Shortly into it things were not going well. We had a child 4 years later, and if anything that made things between us even worse. How could I be a good mother to this beautiful baby girl if I was miserable all the time. So 2 years later, I started the divorce process. And with it came the "I love you how can you do this to me". I don't know if this is when my understand of the word love got confused or not. But I was very confused over it. How can something that makes me so miserable be love. Physical violence began to get added to the emotional and I had to leave. This was 5 years ago. I had been isolated in the relationship for so long that I didn't have any friends to speak of and my family was on the other side of the country. Determined not to cry, yet alone and scared. I met J she talked to me and gave me the salesman everything is going to be fine. Well I bought it hook, line and sinker. What I didn't realize at the time was the she was exactly like my X. She wanted me isolated and focused only on her. And we fight and then comes the but I love you lines and the I'll change. Well it's been 5 years.... Now I have started to relize that my feelings have value and I can't just pretend that they don't exist. I have to find a way to seperate me from her, so I can figure out who I really am. So far it isn't working well, I keep getting caught up in her circle.



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I can find the courage to change, because I know there are people that love me.
Christy


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 3223
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Hi Tazz, welcome.

Firstly, I would say don't base your opinion of that meeting soley on the one meeting you attended.
My first meeting wasn't great either. There was a young speaker that had an alcoholic mother and I just wasn't relating and left feeling pretty disappointed. It even crossed my mind to walk out of the meeting. Talk about a pissy attitude!!

I was told: Attend 6 meetings, if I still didn't like it, Alanon would refund my misery.
I went back again and again. I'm soooo glad I didn't base my thoughts on that first meeting. That same meeting is now considered my "home group". They have helped me every step of the way.

In my most trying times, when my A was hospitalized and at deaths door...those same people that I almost walked out on called me daily to check on me, one came to the hospital and sat with me, another invited me out and bought my dinner and just let me cry. I didn't attend meetings regularly at that time as I was just exhausted. But ya know, they didn't forget me. I wasn't out of site/out of mind.
So many reached out to me, not only my home group, but here too.

My A was in the hospital for a month (Feb-March). When I enter the chatroom here someone ALWAYS asks me how my A is doing. I'm still amazed that as many people that come and go thru here from all over the world, that people remember and care about me and my A. Truly care.

I really shouldn't be so amazed :)
They are working toward the same goal as I and we share a loving bond. I can't even express what these people mean to me, but then again, they don't expect me to gush over them. They care about me without expectations of me telling them how wonderful they are.

Please try again or search out a different meeting, the key is to "go" and keep going.
You'd be surprised what you absorb by osmosis.
Peace, calm and serenity do exist and it's yours for the asking.
You just have to learn how and work it , Alanon can show you the way.

Christy


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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them.  And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
Jennifer


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1382
Date:
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Welcome Tazz


Glad you have found this board! Keep coming back, take care of yourself.


Jennifer



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nycbt


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 810
Date:
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Welcome to MIP. You are not alone. There a lot of people who understand.


 


World Service Organization Website –


WWW.al-anon.alateen.org


Phone number is 1-888-425-2666


Alanon meetings 800-351-9996


Alanon literature Worldwide 888-425-2666


Alanon meeting info. 800-433-7266 AA info.


Chat room is open 24/7 there here the link to www.mipchat.net or http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html 


Here are some things that have helped me since in the program.



  • Go face to face meeting & online meeting.

  • post on the board here on the site. I have gotten a lot of good feed back.

·        Set support system.  people do not judge. You need someone who can go for coffee on a bad day, or pick up a phone and call when in trouble. The support is what is important when you first this program.



  • Have a sponsor. Someone work one on one with you.

You don’t have to do this the minute u come to the program but I suggest that u do it when u can. It help.


 

Meeting schedule: meetings are in here and run approximately 90 minutes from: Monday-Friday, 9 am and 9 pm EST, Saturday: 10 am and 9 pm EST, Sunday: 10 am and 7 pm EST. Topics are selected by participants at meeting time. UK +5 hours, central -1 hour, mountain -2 hours, pacific -3 hours. Open chat all other times.

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Hey everyone watch me grow. I go thru good & bad times. each day i am getting stronger.
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