The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Well I am very angry because my husband goes to this friends house all the dam time. I know he not having sex with her but that have some kind of money thing going on. I am really pissed off because I worried when the stuff is every going to end. I mean really. Some people say he is doing drug and buying it. Well I am not sure and there nothing I can do but write about how I feel right now. There nothing I can do to make him stop but I am so very angry with him. He wouldn't tell me what it is. What ever it is there is nothing can be done but i do have a right to be angry. I think it is better to write it out instead of him coming home and being angry. He know how i feel but he still does it. I love this comment oh I can't afford that. Well if he stop giving his dam money to these people he would have money. You don't know how many times I want him to fight about it because I think it stinks. Right now I have to deal with it until I find another way to handle it. I have done everything and how did it get me so far no where now where. I have not gotten any where with him.
I have been working on my fourth step and he tells me that I am a negative person. Everyone else has told me other wise. He was the one I have always based my self on. Well thank to some people my sponsor, he and some friends I have been shown other wise. People like me so much that will do anything for me. I am so greatful. People only care about what I feel they don't really care what I feel. It is kind of weird lately for me to say oh I will ask him this or not because they really don't care what he think. I have gotten better that i have been able to think for my self and not worry about everything he does. It a hard process it has taken me along time to get this way. If I was such a negative person I wouldn't have anyone to hang out with me. I wouldn't have the choices to go places if i was so negative. People like to be around me because I am a nice person.
-- Edited by nycbt at 17:26, 2006-05-22
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Hey everyone watch me grow. I go thru good & bad times. each day i am getting stronger.
((((((((((((((((((((((((((nybct))))))))))))))))))))))) I am so sorry you are going though this!! I am so proud of you for seeing that you are a terrific person and "A Precious Child of HP"... Hang in there sweetheart and my prayers are with you!!
I know before being in recovery people always told me I was a negitive person but being in recovery for 2 years now I think it was the people I was always around like family and friends that were rubbing off on me!! I am now told I am a very happy and loving person to be around..
sorry for your sorrow and anger. This is a good place to vent, Lord knows I have done it enough!
It is so frustrating, and trying to keep the focus on ourselves is so hard when someone we love is tearing us down, and tearing apart our relationship!
Keep being the positive force that you are. You always were for me!
Our A's hate themselves so much, they put it all on us. It is just the disease talking.
There is a page in One Day At A Time that talks about emotions/feelings and that is is okay to be mad, and feel the way that we feel. I just don't remember the page number.
Keep working through your feelings. You are allowed to feel the way that you feel, now how we react to those feelings that is a whole different story.
You are doing a great job!
Much Love,
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"Today's problems can not be solved if we still think the way we did when we created them" -Albert Einstein
That's a tough one for me. Sure we do, we can get angry. We can welcome it into our hearts and strengthen it over and over. I do it, but I feel remorse about it.
I try to break that momentum to be angry, to lessen it in my heart. I'm practicing being sensitive to when I get hooked at more and more subtle levels, how I get swept away by this situation where I'm overwhelmed by madness.
I certainly understand the harm we're subjected to by As, but I don't understand my anger. It has not helped me ever to do anything but burn myself up inside, and I've often made things worse. It was suggested to me that getting angry and lashing out is like picking up hot coals and throwing them at the one you're mad at. You might actually hit them good, but you are guaranteed to always scorch yourself.
I'm not criticizing you. I still get plenty mad. I'm just getting old and tired of it in myself.
Hang in there, there is a lotta love here yet to be shared!
So proud of you too. One of the gravest errors I ever made was allowing others to define me. With perspective and wonderful true friends, therein lies the truth. Not what others that have distorted thinking tell us.
Keep coming. You go girl,
love Maria
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If I am not for me, who will be? If I am only for myself, then who am I? If not now, when?
Y))) Your not alone. 
** Keep Looking uP! 
You always were for me! 
