Hi to All,

Well, with my new job, (I already got a raise), mom being ill, my A being active, etc. etc. I have had lots of stress.  Two years ago this would have affected every aspect of my life making me unable to do the smallest tasks like pay the bills.  The skills I have learned through Alanon and my counseling are priceless. 

So Friday night around 7:30pm, on my way home from I decided to stop at the local where my A hangs out and have two glasses (I worked at a treatment center, so if out, I only drink one or two glasses knowing how alcohol can impair me).  I was there about 1 1/2 hours, visiting with old friends I haven't seen in a very long time.  I ordered my second glass of wine and my cell phone rang.  It was one of my sons telling me that my oldest son had broke done and needed help.  I told my A, and he said "Well, we better go get him" I sat and looked at my A, he wanted to know what was wrong.  I told him, I don't want to go.......I am tired, I am doing everything for everybody, and I just don't want to drive you and then we have to pick the other car up tomorrow......he actually responded to that, with a Okay....I will go help the boy out.  So I stayed and visited with our friend we refer to as an uncle, he is an older man and just a joy to talk to.  It was nice just to sit there.  Around 10:30 or so my cell phone rang and guess what?  LOL It was my A, wondering why I wasn't home......LOL I said I would be leaving shortly. I drank a couple glasses of water and actually headed home. (This is funny it was the reverse of what usually happens, as I have called him when he is out and he always tells me he is on his way home) So I got home around 11:30 or so.  My A was sound asleep. 

The next morning he sarcastically asked me if I had a good time.  I responded honestly, with yes it was nice.  So yesterday, we did our annual bowling day and dinner with friends and family of ours in my A's son's name (he passed away two years ago) while we were driving, my A tells me how mad he was when he came home on Friday and I wasn't home.  He said he thought about it and wasn't mad anymore.  I didn't stay out to spite him, or hurt him, I needed a break, some friendly conversation, and it was nice.  I did tell him do you realize how many nights I have got home to you not being there?  Or nights you have not came home?  He admitted it's not right what he does.  I said you know I just wish you would not have the nights where you don't call or don't come home.  He said, he wishes that too!!! (he realizes I think, that he is not in control when he drinks and uses, his intentions are not bad but his judgment is impaired) So all and all we had a nice day.  He is working today, I am going to spend time with Mom.

I had to share with all of you. It seems that saying enough is enough, I need a break, I can't do anymore for anyone, is okay....it's a way to take care of me. 

Hugs to all, Mary