The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's reading is about Al-anon's 3 Cs in relation to alcoholism. I didn't cause it, I can't control it, I can't cure it. The person in this reading reflects on their past actions during their growing up in a home with alcoholism and wonders if their less than perfect behavior - fights with their siblings, less than perfect grades in school were the cause for their parents alcoholism. Al-anon reminds us that behaviors such as the ones mentioned have no influence on sobriety in a parent. Such behaviors can neither exacerbate nor alleviate alcoholism. The person in this reading learns that alcoholism is a disease from which their parents suffer.
The reading explains that with new understanding, family members can choose to let go of trying to control the disease of alcoholism in their loved one. Instead, they can choose to spend their energy on continuing to live their own life. It is suggested that this be done without guilt, without manipulation of situations or persons in particular the alcoholic as the family member's effort to lessen the alcoholic's drinking. The reading states with relation to the alcoholic's drinking, "That choice is completely out of my hands."
The reading suggests and encourages family members to give up insane behaviors to change the alcoholic's drinking.
It states:
I don't have to keep giving it one last exhausted effort to stop the drinking
I don't have to search for the magic cure that isn't there.
I can use my energy for my recovery.
So grateful to Al-anon. My own life is my priority today.
If you are feeling the effects of another person's drinking, there is hope and help in Al-anon.
https://al-anon.org/newcomers/
I didn't cause it, can't control it, can't cure it - a clarifying touchstone.
__________________
Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.
Thank you TT for your service and share. When I came across the 3 C's, it was a breath of fresh air which allowed me to have a sigh of relief. It's not my responsibility to cure that alcoholic, and I sure as hell didn't cause it (even though my spouse blamed me and my son at times). And I tried for years to control it which I discovered was a complete waste of time and energy on my part. Once I grasped the idea that I needed to fix myself, focus on me, and see what's broken, could I start my own recovery. I've come a long way, and I'm still recovering. Although my A is attending AA, we still have problems. One is that I'm expected to forget the last 20 years of damage. I believe I have forgiven my spouse, but I will never forget. And I need a lot of time to see if I can ever trust my spouse again--I had so many years of being lied to, I'm not even sure I can get past this. I know alcoholism is a serious illness, but that will take some serious recovery on both our parts. I so grateful for alanon everyday. :)
