The writer thought the nightmare was over when the alcoholic got sober, but what a surprise!  Many problems were still present, and old behaviors were occurring.  With alanon's teachings, the writer knew that there was no need to accept what is unacceptable, nor does one have to argue back.  There are many other paths to be taken, such as detaching, not doubting oneself, saying the Serenity Prayer, changing the subject, etc.  It is important to remember we always have choices.

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I think one of the many important lessons I have learned from alanon, is not to engage in battle.  If I can pause, think, pray, and breathe, I will remember that fighting does not solve anything.  And just for myself, I don't need to have my body and mind flooded with anger and anxiety.  No good comes from that.  If I can make a good choice, I take care of myself.  And that's really what all this is about--keeping my serenity.