The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's reading reminds us of the feelings of disappointment that can accompany living with alcoholism. The person in the reading expresses that their excitement and hopes were often dashed by their expectations of their alcoholic. Eventually, their feelings were numbed, feelings of hopelessness increased as did their isolation not just from the alcoholic but from others as well. They stopped believing in dreams and chose isolation.
The reading goes on to share the spiritual awakening the person experienced as a result of finding Al-anon and working the program. They found that with the help of a their loving higher power they could overcome feelings of hopelessness. They could risk to hope, feel safe and even dream. They learned to live fully in the moment!
Today's Reminder reflects on the rewards of risking to care for another. "I may be disappointed. But in trying to protect myself from pain, I could cut myself off from the many delights that life has to offer. I will live more fully today."
Today's Quote - Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul. - Samuel Ullman
A lovely reading with wonderful reminders. It can be easy to fall into the trap of feeling disappointed. Keeping gratitude in front of me for each day and accepting disappointment with grace rather than brooding is recovery progress for me. Al-anon has provided so many tools that help with refocusing on making myself happy rather than expecting others to do that for me. Having a Plan B if someone says No, waiting until someone is sober before having a serious discussion, calling a program sponsor, friend to share and work through feelings of resentment. And of course, communicating sadness and disappointment to my hp and praying for only the best for the person who has disappointed me. That last one can still be a tall order at times ;) Anyway, with Al-anon and a higher power I can engage in life fully rather than feel all alone and that no one would understand what I feel. That is truly a blessing!
Negative events can bring on a negative mindset but with recovery tools, I have the power to change my mind, to keep it "real," live fully. It's a choice to stay stuck in stinking thinking, choose self pity over empowerment. A good wallow feels right occasionally. But long term? If choose to stay stuck and begin to feel worse an worse, there's really no one to blame then for disappointing me but myself. Too much obsession about what another has done or not done, I find myself with one foot in the past and the other in the future and miss the present. I'm becoming better at not giving my power away to enjoy the many gifts of my life.
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Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.
TT thank you so much for your service and important share. When I came to program, and the idea about keeping the focus on myself came up over and over again, I found it annoying. I didn't want to focus on myself. I wanted to learn how to fix my A. But of course, eventually it made sense, for all the reasons listed above. I could keep focusing on my A and stay in an emotional low as I was--really, a train wreck always comes to mind. Now I really do focus on myself as my priority, and I accept the decisions of all others, even when I disagree. That's why alanon works for me. Grateful member.
