The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
This reading says many of us have gotten used to obsession, worry, crisis, and focusing on everyone else. It's taken an adjustment period to let go of the frequent mental chatter and find stillness and serenity instead. Sometimes we might latch onto old fears because we didn't know how to feel safe unless we were mentally busy. Worry could falsely give a sense of control. Sanity and serenity are gifts from alanon that allow us to learn we can trust the peace.
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"Mentally busy" describes my state of mind for many years. And I wasn't busy with positive thinking. I can identify with the paragraph above. I was uncomfortable being still or alone, so I kept myself physically and mentally active. It was truly exhausting but the only way I knew how to feel OK. With practice of this program, I enjoy peace, moments of quiet, and taking time to rest. Grateful member always.
Yes! Worry gives me a sense of control because I am obsessing over a solution. There have only been a few times in my life that I have truly surrendered the chaos of active drinking. I guess I feel like Im always waiting for the next shoe to drop and having a plan IF it happens the way my head is telling me it will happen. Just praying to stay in the day and finding joy in it. Thanks for sharing your thoughts