Today's reading uses the idea of housekeeping to inventory Al-Anon recovery.

The reading mentions that one member through an Al-Anon personal inventory was able to  tie their penchant for keeping a very tidy home to the illusion of being in control of an otherwise unmanageable life.

Another Al-Anon member with a messy house considered it further when someone shared that clutter was a way of keeping people at a distance and isolating. They remember their childhood home being that way and realized they were repeating this pattern of living in their adulthood.

Today's reminder gives hope for progress. It suggests when considering the condition of the home that the Al-anon member also take note of their Al-Anon recovery to consider any hidden motives for their habits. It states as an example, "Clutter doesn't have to be physical; I may also find areas of my mental, spiritual, or emotional life that are in disarray." It suggests not judging ourselves or others.

The quote is from our daily reader One Day at a Time   "... the Al-Anon program can give me a new view of my world by helping me to see myself more clearly..."

I can practice both of the above extremes depending on what is going on in my life. What I've learned about myself, personally is that what is behind my physical clutter (besides dust) is the illusion of material abundance. How bad can I being doing if I have all this? Clutter for me has been an elixer that has rendered a feeling I'd liken to that of a warm, comforting bath (denial). The more chaotic life feels, the greater the clutter can be for me. I have found myself in this emotional place in the last few years while feeling affected much in the way one is affected the insanity of another person's alcoholism. It has been due to worldly matters.

Matters that are outside myself have affected me negatively left me feeling impoverished in many ways. Plain and simple... it's FEAR false evidence appearing real. And from such an emotional place, I've overcompensated and invited too much of a supposed "good things," into my physical space instead of clearing a path for my loving higher power to work in my life.

What is important for me to keep in mind is that every day is a new beginning, a new opportunity to change what I can. An "all or nothing" attitude when it comes to self correcting only leads to feeling defeated. One day at a time works better for me. Being gentle with myself helps with maintaining serenity and sanity. Non judgement of myself, the unconditioned love of my hp, the loving support of others including letting go of feelings of shame, pride or any other obstacles to progress and asking for help from others are beneficial things for me when to tidy up a lapse in Al-Anon recovery.

When I give my power away to projection, my home and my recovery tend to be reflective of that. For me these are lapse in my faith, in the spiritual part of my program. I experience sanity when I choose to trust the god of my understanding. I maintain my serenity when my mind and heart feel connected by my faith in my higher power. I don't want a cluttered home or an overly tidy one. There is no such thing as working a "perfect" Al-Anon program nor being in total relapse of my Al-Anon program. I prefer to think of both as things I'd like to work on in a sane and balanced way each day, doing the footwork for what is in front of me for today.