The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Todays reading is a look at why we sometimes resist certain situations, avoiding for a specific reason. The writer describes being asked to sponsor for an alateen meeting. The writer resisted, feeling like he/she did not even particularly like teenagers! Once the meetings were underway, and the teenage voices/experiences heard, the writer realized that he/she was avoiding the situation because his/her own adolescence was spent in isolation and dodging alcoholic situations. After this realization, the writer was able to be present and listen. Not only did the writer start to be able to fulfill the role of sponsor, but there was strength and healing related to his/her own experience as a teenager as well.
This reading made me consider those times when my inclination is to say no to a situation, not because of healthy boundary setting, but out of avoidance for some reason. Ive gotten a little bit better at recognizing when its one rather than the other, and have noticed when I am able to bypass the no and push forward, Im often enriched in some way by whatever it is I thought I would stay away from! An example: saying no to a big crowd after a concert performance is directly related to my social battery being run out (boundary). Saying no to conducting the concert because I feel intimidated is avoidance, and a situation I can be in and learn from.
The Thought for the Day summarizes this perfectly: Opportunity for growth can come from the most unexpected places. All I really need is willingness, courage, and an open mind.
Thank you Mary for your service and above ESH. I used to shy away from certain activities due to hopelessly poor self-esteem. All that's changed with alanon. I do now have to check myself--pause, think, sometimes pray--to make sure I'm not being stubborn. Instead, I want to set good boundaries. Progress not perfection!
