The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Todays reading is a look at why we sometimes resist certain situations, avoiding for a specific reason. The writer describes being asked to sponsor for an alateen meeting. The writer resisted, feeling like he/she did not even particularly like teenagers! Once the meetings were underway, and the teenage voices/experiences heard, the writer realized that he/she was avoiding the situation because his/her own adolescence was spent in isolation and dodging alcoholic situations. After this realization, the writer was able to be present and listen. Not only did the writer start to be able to fulfill the role of sponsor, but there was strength and healing related to his/her own experience as a teenager as well.
This reading made me consider those times when my inclination is to say no to a situation, not because of healthy boundary setting, but out of avoidance for some reason. Ive gotten a little bit better at recognizing when its one rather than the other, and have noticed when I am able to bypass the no and push forward, Im often enriched in some way by whatever it is I thought I would stay away from! An example: saying no to a big crowd after a concert performance is directly related to my social battery being run out (boundary). Saying no to conducting the concert because I feel intimidated is avoidance, and a situation I can be in and learn from.
The Thought for the Day summarizes this perfectly: Opportunity for growth can come from the most unexpected places. All I really need is willingness, courage, and an open mind.
Thanks Mary for today's HFT reading and wonderful share. It brings to mind how important performing Al-anon service was for me as a new person to the program. It helped to built confidence, self esteem and courage within me to risk taking on responsibilities in my life outside the rooms of Al-anon. Healthy boundaries are appropriate for self care, self protection self respect. Avoidance on the other hand or the intentional withholding of myself when opportunity knocks is rooted all too often in projection - F.E.A.R. false evidence appearing real. I may recall something from my past that I perceive as similar and had a poor outcome and for this reason choose to hold back. Of course this is the reason in my humble opinion for continuing to work Al-anon's 12 steps. I want to progress, participate fully in life, be able to make decisions with confidence, feel greater connection to my hp, others, experience self actualization. Faith in a loving higher power plays a big part in overcoming fear of confrontation. I truly believe today that if my higher power brings me to it, my higher power will bring me through it. In Al-anon, I needn't look any further than our three daily readers for lessons and examples such as today's page to learn how I too can flip the defect - F everything and run into an asset - face everything and recover. The titles, alone of our 3 daily readers inspire endless possibilities - Hope for Today > Courage to Change > One Day at a Time. These book titles remind me that my loving higher power does not expect big things of me; only that I keep the faith, be guided by my hp's will for me and stay present. I accept myself as I am today because I accept that I'm growing in hp's time not my own and that I am being lovingly cared for.
-- Edited by tiredtonite on Sunday 6th of August 2023 07:05:04 AM
-- Edited by tiredtonite on Sunday 6th of August 2023 07:18:11 AM
__________________
Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.
Thank you Mary for your service and above ESH. I used to shy away from certain activities due to hopelessly poor self-esteem. All that's changed with alanon. I do now have to check myself--pause, think, sometimes pray--to make sure I'm not being stubborn. Instead, I want to set good boundaries. Progress not perfection!
