Al-Anon Family Group

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Post Info TOPIC: 8/1/23 C2C They Are Not the Problem…


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 963
Date:
8/1/23 C2C They Are Not the Problem…


Today's writer arrived at Alanon as did many: hoping to find out how to get the alcoholic to stop drinking, thinking that was the problem. They learned, as many others have also: they didn't cause alcoholism, can't control it or cure it.

They kept coming back, however, because they discovered there was much healing needed in their own life as they had developed unhealthy habits around the alcoholism.

With the help of meetings, guidance from their higher power and consistent work they were able to regain their equilibrium.

Reminder I don't respond well when others try to control me, why would I try on others? I am responsible for myself and the only one responsible for the level of felt fulfillment.

"Today I will keep hands off and keep my focus where it belongs, on me." ...In All Our Affairs
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I find it helpful to recall my beliefs before Alanon as I map my spiritual course, and wonder at the immensity of my initial misperception. So focused upon triangulating on the straws on them, missed the beam I was swinging.

When I take 100% responsibility for me alone, I find serenity. When I am unhappy, the first thing I try to consider is what person, thing or situation I am wanting to be different. If I don't adjust my belief of the source, I will remain unhappy...

Grateful for the wisdom and reminders



__________________

Paul

"...when we try to control others, we lose the ability to manage our own lives."  - Paths to Recovery 



~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 2758
Date:

Thank you Paul for your service and share. After 11 yrs of alanon, and learning to stop trying to force solutions, my spouse has gone to AA for 4 consecutive days. I will remain detached with love, have no expectations, and pray.



__________________

Lyne



~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 916
Date:

Paul thank you for your service and agree with everyone's ESH that responsibility lies with myself and must always examine my motives.

__________________

"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it

does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart". ~ unknown

 

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