Thank you Lyne for your service and to you and DM for the shares. What you focus on the longest becomes the strongest is pretty much my daily mantra. I make a conscious choice to no longer engage in misery making, catastrophizing, drama or even showing up for every fight I'm invited to. I remember these personal behaviors and choices well. As a newcomer to Al-anon. oldtimers set an example with recovery behaviors including my first Al-anon sponsor to keep to my own side of the street and engage in my own life rather than use others as a distraction for not living my own life fully. I'm grateful for uncomfortable lessons learned from over responsibility, people pleasing and misplaced efforts to exercise authority and control over others. Grateful to Al-anon's steps and traditions that have helped and continue to help me from situation to situation to choose self sufficiency, healthy interchanges rather than my former codependent behaviors.