The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
This page recalls Step 1 truth that the alcoholics sobriety is not our responsibility, but notes that it is possible that spouses can have a positive or negative influence on it.
Step 1 is not a license to nag and berate as by doing so, we may take on some responsibility for postponing sobriety or contributing to slips from sobriety.
Following Alanon guidance to avoid accusing, judging and directing results in an atmosphere that encourages positive energy for all, and the best environment to foster a desire for sobriety in the alcoholic.
Reminder - Being powerless over alcohol means that we cannot force another's recovery. Our power to supply positive energy and serenity, however, remains.
"I am not powerless over myself, and the way I act and react. This is, in itself, a power that can work miracles in changing the attitudes of others." - Unattributed ----------------------
This is a topic that I have been seriously considering this week as I reevaluated my behavior and realized that I have been contributing to a negative home environment.
I have not been taking responsibility for delivering the best I can in actions, word, and attitude. Instead, I have been pointing and focusing on perceived shortcomings of someone else.
When someone else is struggling, it may be my less than positive, entitled behavior that pushes them further into decline. I do not want that for them, or for me. I can do better...
Grateful for the reminders
__________________
Paul
"...when we try to control others, we lose the ability to manage our own lives." - Paths to Recovery
Paul, thank you for your service and wonderful share. I probably have to remind myself daily that the shortcomings attached to my alcoholic are none of my business. I see no desire on my spouse's part to get help, and it does make me very sad. However, I've reached a point in my recovery that the sadness passes quickly. I do not want to spend this day miserable because someone else won't change. Bless them, change me. Grateful.
