Al-Anon Family Group

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Post Info TOPIC: 7/25/23 ODAT – Powerless, but Not Without Impact

~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 951
7/25/23 ODAT – Powerless, but Not Without Impact

This page recalls Step 1 truth that the alcoholics sobriety is not our responsibility, but notes that it is possible that spouses can have a positive or negative influence on it. 

Step 1 is not a license to nag and berate as by doing so, we may take on some responsibility for postponing sobriety or contributing to slips from sobriety. 

Following Alanon guidance to avoid accusing, judging and directing results in an atmosphere that encourages positive energy for all, and the best environment to foster a desire for sobriety in the alcoholic. 

Reminder - Being powerless over alcohol means that we cannot force another's recovery. Our power to supply positive energy and serenity, however, remains. 

"I am not powerless over myself, and the way I act and react. This is, in itself, a power that can work miracles in changing the attitudes of others." - Unattributed

This is a topic that I have been seriously considering this week as I reevaluated my behavior and realized that I have been contributing to a negative home environment. 

I have not been taking responsibility for delivering the best I can in actions, word, and attitude. Instead, I have been pointing and focusing on perceived shortcomings of someone else. 

When someone else is struggling, it may be my less than positive, entitled behavior that pushes them further into decline. I do not want that for them, or for me. I can do better...

Grateful for the reminders  




"...when we try to control others, we lose the ability to manage our own lives."  - Paths to Recovery 

~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 2672

Paul, thank you for your service and wonderful share. I probably have to remind myself daily that the shortcomings attached to my alcoholic are none of my business. I see no desire on my spouse's part to get help, and it does make me very sad. However, I've reached a point in my recovery that the sadness passes quickly. I do not want to spend this day miserable because someone else won't change. Bless them, change me. Grateful.



~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 915

Thank you Paul for your service, reading and to you and Lyne for both your ESH.

I too find myself falling to a blaming mindset that does not please me nor does it help the active drinker in my house.

For the most part I mind my own business, but there are times that finger pointing does rear it's ugly head and I can

immediately sense I am wrong. Let Go and Let God is my go to when these situations arise and am also grateful for

the reminders here on MIP.


"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it

does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart". ~ unknown


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