The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I just thought I would jot down a few words tonight because I am feeling alone and scared. My A is looking for a place to live. He was able to get on disability, which is what he wanted. He has been helping me out financially for the past 3 mos and I have become somewhat dependent on the money he gives me. Now he really wants to move out and get his own place, which is what we both felt was best for him. For the 1st time in my life I am getting my finances in order. At this time I feel like I really need the extra money that he is giving me, but I know also that my A needs his own place. We had talked about this and I said that he could stay here until an apartment comes through...the only thing I couldn't have was him smoking in my house, otherwise there wasn't anything else really that bothered me. He wants to go and live with 3 or 4 other men in a 'supported housing' type of thing that they have here in NY because he wants to be able to 'smoke' whenever he wants. Anyhow, back to me. I am just feeling like every time I begin to get moving ahead in any area of my life, the disease comes in and begins to work me over mentally, emotionally and spiritually, so tonight here I am...feeling alone and abandoned by God (I always feel this way when something like this happens)...so I am telling you guys how I feel because I feel safe and I know that you won't judge me. Thanks for listening my good friends and God Bless. Scamper
You are not alone! Thanks for posting. Change is scarey whether it was anticipated or not. Your HP will never leave you alone but may test you sometimes. What I have been reading lately says that adult aren't abandoned. Feelings of abandonment come from childhood. This speaks to me. Hope everything works out with your A. I too am getting my finances in order.
I can relate and understand how you feel. We don't want the disease, but we liked and loved the person.
I am sure it is hard to see him moving out. Not only do you lose him, you lose part of your financial stability.
The money part can be worked out. Maybe in time you will have a room mate, or you will find another way to bring in money. If you like pets, petsitting in your home can be a fun way to make extra money.
This is where you hp will help. Give that part up.
When you have faith, it is times like this you will know you are NOT alone. I find myself thinking about my hp a lot when things are tough, when I feel alone. I was in a new docs office today. I was feeling so lost and alone.
My mother always came with me to this stuff and I did for her too. I felt so alone and was about to cry in the room. I read one of my magazines, JW and it was about how when we have faith and love, we are never alone.
It made me feel so much better. then I thought about how come I felt so uncomfy. I am a country mouse, I hate the city and leaving my Eden home.
Sorta humbled myself and thought how I am ok, never alone. That it is ok to be me, in my hippie sorta dress and long hair and jewelry. Not like anyone else there in their fancy city like cloths.
When my A left it was easier to focus on me. I hope you will find the disease will lose it's hold on you. Your mental, emotional and physical you, will be filled with a whole new goal of working on you and making you happy.
That is ok uno. Sad though eh, how much smoking means to them? I am sure too, it is that he will be around other guys who know where he is. It is some kind of bonding thing.
Hello Scamper , God never abandons us we often turn away from him. God gave man free will and sometimes we don't do great things with the freedom we have been given. There is nothing you can do about hubby but alot u can continue to do for yourself.
I heard a lady say once that God took away everything she wanted so that she could have everything she needed. took me along time to understand that statement . We often here that God helps those who help themselves , I was also true that was not true . God helps those of us who ask . hang in there it will get easier . Louise
I hope u are going to f2f meetings for yourself you need support from those who understand and who will support u in tough times . Once settled in this program , you are never alone again unless u choose to be. Keep the focus on your own needs and your going to just fine . Louise.
I'm a country gal too! ....I always take one or two of my Alanon Books with me ~ wherever I go. Doctors appts.,are the best time to do some of my affirmation reading, or work on my worksbook.Your not alone, we're here!!Keep Looking uP
WORK IT 'CAUSE YOUR WORTH IT !!! ((((( BiGSCAMPERHuG)))
Keep sharing!! I look forward to seeing ya in chat~~
....I always take one or two of my Alanon Books
with me ~ wherever I go. 
Doctors appts.,are the best time to do some of my affirmation reading, or work on my worksbook.Your not alone, 
we're here!!
YOUR WORTH IT !!! ((((( BiGSCAMPERHuG))) 
~