The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
At times we see the perspective of others, perhaps better then they, by how they describe their situation.
Today's page tells of listening to a member explain their suffering and actions all in relation to the alcoholic. It was apparent that the suffering they felt was real, but also that it was mostly self-inflicted. Trying to control the alcoholic led to increased distortion of the facts.
Reminder: I will honestly examine my motives, attitudes, and actions. Am I disturbed about something? Am I blaming someone else? Or, can I admit that I carry some responsibility? Peace of mind depends upon ridding my mind of limiting, negative attitudes.
"We blame little things in others and pass over great things in ourselves; we are quick enough tin perceiving and weighing what we suffer from others, but we mind not what others suffer from us." - Thomas a Kempis ------------------------ This ODAT gem reminds me that whenever I am disturbed, there are perceptions to adjust and things to change that are in my control that guarantee change if I want it.
Do I want change, or would I rather change someone else? That is the question I must honestly address. Alanon helps me with the first, the second guarantees more suffering.
Every day, every exchange offers this choice, grateful to Alanon for the wisdom
__________________
Paul
"...when we try to control others, we lose the ability to manage our own lives." - Paths to Recovery
Thanks Paul for your service and wonderful share. Yes, it always comes back to me. It was so much easier to blame others, but no change ever occurred. Learning to be an adult has been hard, but the rewards from this program are plentiful. Grateful.
Im not able to come here as much as I would like but always grateful when I do.
Its so easy to blame everyone else for our problems without taking a look at ourselves. My life is slowly but surely becoming better in baby steps as I do try and keep the focus on myself
If I am being honest my go to is to try and change others first lol. This most often results in more stress in my life. Putting down what is not mine and focusing only on my side of the street always works out better for me.
