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Post Info TOPIC: 5/9/23 ODAT Canít See Reality Over a Wall of Bitterness, Self-Pity, Self-Deception


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 951
Date:
5/9/23 ODAT Canít See Reality Over a Wall of Bitterness, Self-Pity, Self-Deception


At times we see the perspective of others, perhaps better then they, by how they describe their situation.†

Today's page tells of listening to a member explain their suffering and actions all in relation to the alcoholic. It was apparent that the suffering they felt was real, but also that† it was mostly self-inflicted. Trying to control the alcoholic led to increased distortion of the facts.

Reminder: I will honestly examine my motives, attitudes, and actions. Am I disturbed about something? Am I blaming someone else? Or, can I admit that I carry some responsibility? Peace of mind depends upon ridding my mind of limiting, negative attitudes.

"We blame little things in others and pass over great things in ourselves; we are quick enough tin perceiving and weighing what we suffer from others, but we mind not what others suffer from us." - Thomas a Kempis
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This ODAT gem reminds me that whenever I am disturbed, there are perceptions to adjust and things to change that are in my control that guarantee change if I want it.†

Do I want change, or would I rather change someone else? That is the question I must honestly address. Alanon helps me with the first, the second guarantees more suffering.

Every day, every exchange offers this choice, grateful to Alanon for the wisdom



__________________

Paul

"...when we try to control others, we lose the ability to manage our own lives." †- Paths to Recovery†



~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 2672
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Thanks Paul for your service and wonderful share. Yes, it always comes back to me. It was so much easier to blame others, but no change ever occurred. Learning to be an adult has been hard, but the rewards from this program are plentiful. Grateful.

__________________

Lyne



~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 915
Date:

Thank you as well Paul for your service, today's reading reminder and to you and Lyne for both your ESH.

Yep, when I don't mind my own business, I re-learn that the subsequent unhappiness I experience can

only point to my perception and actions. Grateful member as well!!!

__________________

"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it

does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart". ~†unknown

Debbie



Senior Member

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Posts: 143
Date:

Good evening

Im not able to come here as much as I would like but always grateful when I do.

Its so easy to blame everyone else for our problems without taking a look at ourselves. My life is slowly but surely becoming better in baby steps as I do try and keep the focus on myself

Have a good night

__________________


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 575
Date:

If I am being honest my go to is to try and change others first lol. This most often results in more stress in my life. Putting down what is not mine and focusing only on my side of the street always works out better for me.

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