The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I'm not OK. I hurt and feel miserable and have those see saw emotions in my head that make me want to try bumping into the same old wall again. There were drugs here when I got home yesterday, yeah I should not have looked but I did. Maybe I should have just pretended I didn't see them but I didn't. And now here I am printing out the papers I will need to get rolling on a legal seperation or divorce ... which I don't know yet but one or the other. And I am not OK. Right now I wish I could find a way to ignore it all and keep living my life just the way it was, but I can't do it without losing the single little drop of self respect I have left in me.
Jennifer , please try and remember that he is doing what A's do use . This is a disease , you cannot do anything about it but u can look after yourself by keeping the focus on your needs. I hope u are attending meetings for yourself for awhile before making a life altering decission cause if u love him it will not solve your problem. Naranon or Al-Anon will help u make an informed decission not based on emotiion alone . You are not responsible for his using and taking on the shame and guilt of his disease will only make matters worse for you.
Please find meeting s for yourself , try and give our program a few months and see how u feel then a different perspective will make things alittle easier for you . Louise
Jennifer. I am so sorry you are going thru this. You are very brave to face the paper work.When I did mine, I started with a separation. You can always change it do a divorce.
I was and am not ready for divorce. I don't do well with regrets so want to be sure.
It has to be scarey as if he gets busted, you do too. We can lose everything becuz of this disease.
For him to leave it out like that sure is brazen. geez
I don't have anything to say, just felt so sad for you. Keep coming back. We care about you.
I am giving you big hugs and prayers today for strength. Take as much time as you need to grieve and think about your choices and options. I agree with everyone else get to a F/F and do something relaxing for yourself. I find spending time with myself somewhere soothing like the beach helps to clear my perspective and those see saw feelings calm down a bit. You are a great person and you are taking care of yourself. Hang in there, we are all here to support you on whatever decision you make.
Blessings,
Twinmom~
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"The people who don't mind matter and the people who mind, don't matter". (Dr. Seuss)
