The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
In today's reading, the author shares how learning about the disease of alcoholism has helped them find serenity. Thanks to their new understanding about alcoholism, the author now understands that alcoholics have a disease, they are ill, not bad. This realization helped the author understand what they can and cannot expect from active alcoholics. The ability to adjust one's own expectations is a key tool the author now uses to prevent setting themselves up for constant disappointment. Realistic expectations help keep the author's life manageable. This is another way Al-Anon has helped disperse fears and make room for compassion. \
Today's Reminder: Learning about the disease of alcoholism can help me become more realistic about a loved one's illness - and thus to make better choices for myself.
Today's Quote: "I have learned techniques for dealing with the alcoholic, so that I can develop a relationship with the person behind the disease." Al-Anon Faces Alcoholism
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Understanding the disease of alcoholism better is something that really helped me understand my wife and her actions much better. It is a piece of the puzzle that makes her who she is, and informs the decisions she makes. Even now that she's been mostly sober for so many years, the disease is still present and without ongoing treatment, rears its head. I can recognize these moments now (not always in the moment, but upon reflection shortly thereafter) as symptoms of the disease of alcoholism, and I can make choices about what is best for me in those situations.
__________________
Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
I appreciate how this topic highlights a fundamental choice I get to make once I have Alanon knowledge:
* Hold onto my expectations and insistence that the other person can and should be the one to change
* Accept the simple (and for some, debatable or even flawed) concept of alcoholism as an illness, enough to extend them grace and let it begin with me
Simple choice, at times a challenging execution, but possible with the wisdom and reminders of the program...grateful
__________________
Paul
"...when we try to control others, we lose the ability to manage our own lives." - Paths to Recovery
Thanks Skorpi for your service and all above ESH. Put very simply, my first sponsor taught me to have "no" expectations of my A. She said an expectation is a resentment waiting to happen. And yes, Betty was absolutely right on this. Because what I can expect from my A is inconsistent and illogical behavior. Learning about the disease does help me put things in perspective, but I find I must practice detachment often.
I did not read this yesterday and when I came here and read it I was wishing it was todays reading as I was going to my f2f and usually the leader starts with this daily reading. It has been weighing very heavily on my heart what the relationship between my A son and his adult daughters.ages 20 and 22 has become. All of their lives I played a big part in keeping their relationship with their dad in tact. Now that they are adults its no longer something I can do. It is very strained and it hurts me deeply. They are disappointed and confused. I decided to take a screenshot of this reading and send to them both. I told them that if they did not want me sending them stuff like this I was fine with it. However, I told them how this daily meditation book has helped me so much in my journey with alcoholism and asked them if they would like me to send them this book. Ive only hear from one and her complete sentence was yes. I picked up 2 books along with some pamphlets and bookmarks to send them. I can only hope and pray that one day they will find themselves in the rooms of Alanon
ps. The leader read the 4/19 reading anyway so I was the first one to share on it. My God has a little sense of humor
