The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
For me I am a crier I take things deep.I thought it was a defect that I was easy for depression or I was just not accepting things.
But I had alot of pain to heal walking into the doors of Alanon.I had guilt, fear all the negative emotions.My tears were from childhood,marrage and on and on.I could only work one thing at a time.Just as alanon uses the slogan one day at a time.There were so manythings, I needed to learn and apply in my life.The first thing alanon gave me was the gift to myself. To be ok with my tears.I use to think it was a sign of weekness.But I learned new behaviors with my tears.It was like anger and fear were walls to me to shut others out .Not to get to close to my senitive side.I also learned being sentive was not a defect for me it was a asset. For I was a caring and compaionate person.If I held my wall from others hurts would not hurt me..Not true for I too had to deal with the pain in my life.To day when I feel the resentments coming and anger. I take a breath,and ask myself what is really bothering me? Only I can change me...I like to think of it today as a challenge ,not a risk to feel what lyes under these feelings.With thinking it as a challenge, I change and grow..My recovery has many roads to take,I will learn so much about myself as I take each turn in my life and understand myself .."WHY" i feel this way or that. My what "if's" changed.I learned I was one to project and if I thought, "What if" I was projecting.Turning Fear into Faith was a big step, but once I surrendered my fears to my HP(God) things turned out different than what I had projected.Through faithful attendance at meetings,talking to others and practicing the program,my perspectives inproved.Instead of "poor me" I changed with the new devlopment inself an attitude of gratitude.Alanon saved my life..healing tears saved me too..for I had to learn to let go of each thing within me. It took time, still working on things in me.I am inportant.It works if I work it.love Sharon/angel
Wonderful, but I could only find it on amazon.com (not at stores anymore).
All our feelings are meaningful and valid experiences, but we reject them when they are painful and we idealize them beyond possibility when they are pleasant. Can't we just have the feelings as they are without the storylines?
Thank you ((kent))looked up the site.No I never heard of the book.Interesting.
Can we just have them as they are with the storylines? Not sure how to answer this question.If you were making a statement or asking me? Love sharon/angel
Gosh, I think crying runs in my family, my dad, sister and I are the big criers. I know for my sister and I, we cry when we see someone else crying too..it's like contagious or something! I used to be embarrased at meetings tho, crying over my situation and the hurt I was feeling. I felt pathetic, but didn't look at others that way, just myself. It was difficult to share my tears with others. But, what a release!
~Tears create the rivers that wash away our fears~
Can we just have them as they are with the storylines?
Actually I mistyped what I wanted to say. I meant:
Can't we just have the feelings as they are without the storylines?
I had a little interchange here at work today and really "got my buttons pushed", but I recognize now what's happening and practice putting aside that Drama/Story I habitually cook up in my mental chatter. I went down to the office lobby and bought a decaf, nearly shaking all the coffee out of the cup I was so intensely affected. I sat in the nice lobby, by the fountain, with my feelings. I put my attention on all the different emotion sensations I was having, noticing that they changed and mingled. I caught my natural habit of starting to BLAME the other guy, just stopped thinking of him (not his fault I have buttons), came back to my emotions, put my attention on my breath, on how my body felt -- noted where the strong physical sensations were located (both the solarplexus and upper-chest/throat). I let my emotions and feelings run their course. I didn't try to have the last word with this guy, I didn't go off and sulk about what a _______ he is or what a loser I am. My feelings naturally, slowly calmed down in about 10 minutes and I went back up to the office.
What I think I did was honor my emotions and feelings. I didn't act out on them (react) and I didn't stuff them by distracting myself (repress). I dropped the story-line I usually apply -- without question -- that stokes the fires and changes the interchange into something other than what actually happened. I didn't try to interpret it with words, instead I let my feelings inform me about the experience. I'm intellectualizing it all now in order to write it down, but I'm still feeling my emotions on this -- but this feels so much healthier and natural!
Now, with that practice under my belt, is there ANY guarantee I can handle the next freak out!?!
