The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have not spoken to my A since late Monday night, when I called it quits with him.
I have turned off my cell phone, my only number, so if he calls he goes straight to voice mail...so far, no word from him.
I keep seeing visions of these women on talk shows who were involved with alcoholics. The A started out wonderful, like my A...then he started saying mean things, degrading comments, making them feel worthless, blaming them for their problem, then maybe a shove or a smack...ultimately the women became battered, beaten or even killed by their abusive A.
I am not going to wait and see if my beligerant drunk turns into an abusive drunk...not needing that life.
It hurts, but I know this is the right thing.
IF he is to get well and sober, HE gets to do it on his own....3 C's, thank God I have accepted the 3 C's!!!!!!!!
I love this man.....He is the love of my life.....I will NEVER let go of that love.....It may hurt forever, and it may not, but one thing is sure, I cannot live my life and refuse to accept a life that involves being ridiculed by a fall down drunk who cares NOTHING about anything other than getting smashed.
I ask that anyone who cares to pray for me PLEASE do so....I am heartbroken and devastated, but with Christ very strong and confident the Lord has another plan for me.
I know this was such a hard decision for you to make! I am so proud of you though!! I know right now your heart hurts, but just think--your heart ws hurting when you were together also. You are so right God has great plans for you! Take care of yourself. This may be what your a needed to look at his life and see what he wants for himself. If not at least you will be working on you. Only good things come when you are taking care of yourself and doing the next right thing for yourself. I know the next few weeks will be hard, but keep coming back for support, find the wonderful you inside, believe in yourself and all will be o.k.
I'm so glad you are not willing to let yourself become one that gets physically hurt by her a. That is a fantastic step!!!! Take care.
Of course, Jen, I will keep you close in my prayers and positive thoughts. Yes, your heart is breaking. Just remember...time IS the great healer. There's a better life for you waiting in the wings. All you have to do is reach out for it. I wish you all the best, Diva
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"Speak your truth quietly and clearly..." Desiderata
