The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
We are in the process of getting an uncontested divorce. He has signed all of the papers. The papers are filed with the court. He has left. He has been gone for 10 days, and in those 10 days I have not missed him. While he lived with me he refused to work. He lied constantly, he was abusive, he was never sober, and he frequently did things to sabotage me. I learned very quickly not to trust him. I learned to fear him.
When he left, he had his 14 year-old healthy dog put to sleep because he didn't want her any more. He left owing me $700. He tore the house apart. He stole from me. It has taken me all of these 10 days to put the house back together and I am still not completely finished.
So, last night he calls to ask me why I haven't called him since he has left. He says he figures by now I must be missing him.
I was nice, I didn't once say what I was thinking.
Good for you! I waited over a year until the rage had subsided before I said how I really felt to my A exhusband. Though it did no good. He still thinks he is the center of my thoughts and my world. He has been gone almost 3 years and I do not miss him. I am lonely sometimes but I count my blessings. I have a beautiful daughter. I live in a nice home with great neighbors. I cherish my friends and I am happy and smiling and still focusing on me and my own side of the street. I have a good job and a successful career. You will also be just fine.
Such control you have ditto! I am amazed and impressed. I probably would have offered to kill him just for the fun of it!!!! But then, that's me...Keep yourself together, take care of yourself, and keep moving forward. There's a great life waiting for you.
With love and caring, Diva
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"Speak your truth quietly and clearly..." Desiderata
