The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
This reading begins: " The alcoholic was obsessed with alcohol, and I was obsessed with the alcoholic.". The writer watched, monitored, controlled, felt hurt, self-pity, embarrassment, superiority, resentment, and anger. The writer also felt misery, wretchedness, and gloom, but eventually learned that this attitude was optional, with a change in attitude, expectations, and responses. The writer could turn the attitude around by asking, "How Important Is It?". Eventually the writer exercised the option to be happy, calm, and good.
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Guilty as stated above, and also with practicing over and over alanon's program, have arrived at peace of mind much of the time. I also like to add, Progress not Perfection, because I am not able to do this 100% of the time. Just last night I said to myself, Bless them change me about 5x. But I did not sink into despair nor engage in battle. There's no point except to carry on ODAT, to the best of my ability.
I recently was reading a book that was talking about this very subject. It said the person that loves an alcoholic/addict becomes addicted to the person the same as they become addicted to the alcohol/drugs. That when they are not around them they go into withdrawals just the same as they do without their substances and experience similar symptoms. It sounded unbelievable but I am finding it to be completely true.
Although it may be optional and a choice to be and feel that way I personally believe it's more than just that. Maybe after growing up that way and then living that way in adulthood too it becomes ingrained and will take extensive work to change it.
Hopefully in time and with the help of this program I can learn to manage/eliminate my own addiction/obsession so that I can live a peaceful life.
