The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Well as I sit here today pondering whether I made the right decision seperating from hub, my mind and my heart tell me yes.......
I have had some difficult days, it has been difficult and at the same time peaceful. Well as peaceful as it can be living with two teenagers.........lol
I know that every day is different, some days are better than others. I have been staying busy so that helps. Summer is upon us and that helps also....easy to keep busy in the summer. Will be opening my pool soon, friends will be by....that's a good thing.
I know I still love hub, probably always will....who knows, the only thing I know right now is I am on the road to recovery...and that is a fantastic thing. I am slowly and I mean sometimes minute by minute making my way.
My kids are having there own issues, mostly though we are all just relaxed...... We are coming together, without all the upsets....it's nice.....
I am just at the very beginning of a new journey in life....I am seeing that I have much to be thankful for: My two beautiful children, my so very thoughtful friends, my family and you my MIP family. That is a lot
Just wish hub would get it, he keeps calling acting like we are just apart not seperated, still relying on me to do things for him. I know he is injured, but damn it he chose this path. Maybe I need to just lay it out to him on how I feel???
My sponsor says, "Stay happy!" and think he might be serious...!
Big decisions, Yikes!, I can never get completely comfortable with LITTLE decisions. But I'm learning that difficult and pain experiences are not lost time from life -- they DO have their meaning, and knowing that is healing, and if I listen and experience that fully then my life becomes richer. Uncomfortable, but richer.
I think I suffer most by making the big decision or having the painful experience and then doing ANYTHING to change it in my mind into SOMETHING else less uncomfortable (e.g., blaming) -- instead of just having the anxiety or pain go through their full cycle. That's "steadfastness" when you can do it, but it's being steadfast with YOURSELF, not giving up on yourself, not beating yourself up because the story didn't go as you planned.
Sometimes a good cry or just someone being there to listen is the most you really need.
You're doing just great! Keep up the good work. I'm glad your family has found some peace. No one doubts the love you have for your husband. But it's this damm disease that forces us to make decisions like this. He's probably in denial of what is really going on. But he has to face it, you can't force him. Glad you're staying busy. Call me when the pool is open, I'll come and cook for you!
Love and blessings to you and your family sweet lady.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
__________________
It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
It was great to chat with you last week. Hang it there......you are doing what you need to do. Stick to your boundaries and what is important to you and your kids. Trust God! I've learned a huge lesson in trusting God this past week. I will share it with you sometime. Take care of yourself......you are in my prayers.
& Pipers Kitty