The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Me here. I had to make yet another new account. I'm so sorry- I must have 6 or 7 now. My computer was destroyed yesterday in a random electrical event (I am so sad about it, it's an expensive nightmare) and when I tried to log in from my old laptop it didn't have my details. I wasn't able to recover my password because full disclosure, I have like eight million email addresses and I can't remember which one I used to make my MIP account. I'm not up to anything shady, I just have problems with executive function and I forget passwords etc. My digital signature is a complicated mess. Anyway I have really great news. Someone I care for deeply has been struggling with an alcoholic and it has been very difficult. I've been gently suggesting al-anon for a long time and they finally went to a meeting and they are so excited about it, and calling me every day to discuss it with me and it's really ignited my enthusiasm for the program again. I know this program is for me, and not about saving others but it's really inspiring and wonderful to see someone experience the joy I felt when I first got here. It inspires me to get my head back in the program again so I can be on the same page with them.
So my question is, if someone you are close to becomes an al-anon member and wants to talk about it, what kind of boundaries to people draw? I am thrilled of course and i feel like I want to smother them with my well intentioned advice but of course that's not the right thing to do. I was thinking we could discuss a daily each day for now while they are enthusiastic? Because they know I have been an al-anoner for years they ask me a lot of questions and I don't want to put myself in the position of assuming I am some kind of expert- this isn't my show. They expressed real enthusiasm for finding a sponsor so it's really good news no matter how you look at it. It's so nice to see someone who has struggled for so long find the program and grab hold of it. I need to be very careful to stay in my lane here. I'd really appreciate any input.
Thanks TT. Going to the literature is a great suggestion. I forget it's there sometimes. Isn't that silly, when I benefited from it so much when I first came in.
Oh passwords, how I love (and hate) thee, haha...can be quite the challenge at times, eh?
How exciting! Glad you have a chance to see hope and the program in action.
I agree with what others have shared above, literature and program basics offer tremendous value. For me, digging into the Pathways in Alanon book to get a good foundation of the steps and traditions was invaluable, and that's where I point anyone who has questions or excitement about the program, and myself when I am troubled about something.
The daily readers C2C, ODAT, HOPE have tremendous value and offer a compact view of virtually all topics, are subject searchable, are less intimidating but carry a powerful punch.
In the dailies, there are fantastic suggestions in pages under the index topics Advice, boundaries, that remind me of the value of guiding newer ones to the program pages and spiritual concepts. Teach someone to fish rather than giving them the fish.
In this way, the person grasps what they want and are ready for, at their own pace, with Alanon as the source and not me.
Glad you're back!
__________________
Paul
"...when we try to control others, we lose the ability to manage our own lives." - Paths to Recovery
