The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
This writer says that looking for affection and support from an alcoholic can be like going to a hardware store for bread. While we may not have our expectations met, it is our own expectations that have let us down. Alcoholics may not be able to express love in the way we want it, but we can try to recognize love however it is offered. Most of us can find encouragement, support, and an unfailing source of love through alanon.
Reminder: Today the alcoholic may or may not be able to give us what we desire. And no one person will ever offer all that we require. If we stop insisting that our needs be met according to our will, we may discover that all the love and support we need is already at our fingertips.
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I have to admit I still need this reminder from time to time. My A does try to show love and support to me, however often it is not what I am looking for. If I am looking for my A to get alcohol treatment, it is I who gets disappointed over and over. The people in my life do not revolve around my needs. I do understand that most of the time. Thy will, not my will. Progress not perfection. And yes, this program provides me with so much. Grateful member always.
The reality of looking for affection and support from an alcoholic being like trying to find bread in a hardware store is what ultimately helped me finally make the decision to leave my marriage. Maybe it was my own expectations that let me down but it was also my own expectations that pushed me to want more and better for myself.
That being said, I am grateful to be back here in order to work on myself.
Thank you Lyne for your service. I appreciate all the thought provoking shares. My takeaway is to check my expectations and make decisions that are right for me.