The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
it's been years since I've posted .. I admit i see a lot of new names and not many of the older but admit also i only did a brief scan .. but I was reading a few small words tonight in old messages that were shared in moments i had reached out to Betty in the past .. (hotrod) .. I miss her simple yet profound wisdom .. her spiritual encouragement in definitely painful (shameful) times ..
It is definitely a program of anonymity but i have to share for myself that after all these years i am 'still embarrassed by some of the 'devastating effects alcoholism has had on me .. my thinking feelings emotions self-worth esteem and all i had gone through with the closet addict i had spent time with for years .. the embarrassing early moments of beginning to realize how much i was affected and how much I was sucked in .. Such an easy target and so confused, etc.. i began feeling that 'old embarrassment until i read the familiar line by Betty .. This is a WE program and thank goodness because we'd never get through it alone .. and then suddenly i realized once again .. we can't see it alone either .. we can't become aware alone .. then suddenly there was a small light of comfort for all the embarrassment that even continues to this day .. the reminder we need others to see .. we carry that lamp to another's feet ..
for those who knew her i am reminded of the infamous quote somewhere ''if you want to live forever share your knowledge .. in alanon, wisdom" and she does live on in our hearts minds memories and yes reminders of prior shares .. it's funny .. when i walked away for a few from my computer i was wishing i could speak with her when suddenly i realized .. i just did ..
wishing everyone much continued serenity & healing .. maybe i'll share a little more often after tonight ..
-- Edited by MeTwo2 on Saturday 3rd of December 2022 09:29:08 PM
{{{MeTwo2}}}. Thank you for your wonderful share. I had the privilege of having Betty for my sponsor for about 7 yrs in alanon. Many things she taught me seem to be permanently stored in my brain, like always carry a QTIP, and compare=despair. She lives on in all the lives she touched in such a caring and special way.
I could not be doing my life if I didn't have all the folks on MIP and in my F2F group. I need alanon, not as an addiction, but as a choice to have peace, serenity, and sanity. Especially sanity! That's why I keep coming back. Hope to see you again. :)
I only knew Betty for a relatively short time, and never had the pleasure to meet her as others have. However, she was one of the posters here that was key for me to keep coming back. To this day, I begin each day with my Gratitude List. Something she spoke often about, but something she reached out to me on a PM. Her explanation of why she continued to actively acknowledge her Gratitude each day really hit a note with me. When I see posts (like yours) that celebrate Betty, I always like to think that I am carrying on her memory. and celebrating her as a person, as I speak my Gratitude List in the mornings. Simple, yet profound wisdom indeed!
Hope you enjoy your Sunday! &
__________________
"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Thanks everyone for your thoughts and replies .. it's good to know we're not alone .. I know she touched many .. heart & mind .. spirit etc., and I know even though she's passed, she will continue to do so ..
Lyne you are blessed to have had her as a sponsor. I don't like online sponsoring but would have considered had she been able to take on more .. I know in recovery nothing happens by mistake and have to trust there's a reason for everything that happens, or doesn't, after step 3 .. Still i am grateful for the opportunities to have spoken with her when 'most in need ..
It's been a long road .. the alcoholic (slash closet drug addict) who led me into recovery in the beginning ended up ODing 2 years ago this December .. around 4 months ago, I received another message that his nephew also passed .. There are days I'm not really sure it's truly hit me yet .. I do know it's baffling and so unfortunate especially so young .. we have a daughter together and the effects on her (in her) also have been so unfair ... but this is not a fair disease and it's definitely not a disease of love .. it is powerful baffling cunning and destructive .. Still, here i am led back in spite of the time that's gone by .. I'm reminded recently this forum is here along with many recovering .. it definitely is is a we program for sure .. thank you again for being here .. there are days i ''feel like a newcomer all over again .. but will add that even though the disease is not a disease of Love, recovery brings the Gift of Love ... the reality is I will always be a newcomer regardless of where i am on the path; there will 'always be so much more to learn ..
I'm glad my post spread a little comfort to a few .. wishing us all much more .
-- Edited by MeTwo2 on Monday 5th of December 2022 05:09:15 AM
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