The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's writer recalled that others' harsh word or criticism was inevitably hurtful. Thanks to growth in Alanon, they were able to put such exchanges into better perspective: others' behavior and tone is more about what is going on inside them and need not be negatively impactful.
Extreme sensitivity can be seen as a form of self-centeredness: feeling that we are the focus of others' actions. 'How important is it?' can be helpful, as can remembering that when we carry hurt, it hurts and controls only us.
Reminder: Some people and opinions should matter, but I can avoid taking things personally that have nothing to do with me. Forming and holding my own opinions about myself will allow me to accept others' opinions and comments without being controlled by them.
"It was through going to meetings and the daily reading of AlAnon literature that I awakened to the fact that what other people did and said reflected on them, what I did and said reflected on me." - Living with Sobriety --------------------------- This concept is fairly simple but I certainly struggle at times with the execution. Alanon reminds me that it truly is not all about me, and when I see it that way, it's much easier to be an observer of what someone says or does rather than always a receiver.
Grateful for this reminder, I need it often
__________________
Paul
"...when we try to control others, we lose the ability to manage our own lives." - Paths to Recovery
Thanks Paul for your service and for all above ESH. It took me several years in program to carry a QTIP and quit taking it personally. I am now the boss of me, and if others don't like me, it's OK. I spent years absorbing others' criticisms and letting it crush me. No more of that, thank God and program. Live and let live.
