The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Todays reading is a focus on how we can use boundaries for the practice of not accepting unacceptable behavior. The writer acknowledges that the concept of not accepting the unacceptable was confusing at first, since we cannot control other people. What the writer came to learn was that boundaries are not rules for other people, but rather standards set for our own benefit. Boundaries require communication, something that can be difficult and for many years in my experience: avoided! But other people are not mind readers, so in order to convey what is acceptable to us, we have to unapologetically speak up about it. The writer also notices that he/she pays more attention to boundaries when around those who are nor trusted. There are two sentences written about this that resonated with me: If I allow my boundaries to be violated repeatedly, I am a volunteer rather than a victim. Its my responsibility to stick with people who are affirming and trustworthy and to limit my exposure to those who are not.
When I began to feel the confidence to speak up about what was and was not acceptable in my life, I started breaking out of the take on everything, feel like a martyr, get resentful cycle. The Thought for the Day says this with clarity: I demonstrate dignity and respect for myself and for otters when I honor my values as well as theirs.