Al-Anon Family Group

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Post Info TOPIC: Hope for Today November 6

~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 1085
Hope for Today November 6

Good morning everyone:

 Todays reading is a focus on how we can use boundaries for the practice of not accepting unacceptable behavior.  The writer acknowledges that the concept of not accepting the unacceptable was confusing at first, since we cannot control other people. What the writer came to learn was that boundaries are not rules for other people, but rather standards set for our own benefit. Boundaries require communication, something that can be difficult and for many years in my experience: avoided! But other people are not mind readers, so in order to convey what is acceptable to us, we have to unapologetically speak up about it.  The writer also notices that he/she pays more attention to boundaries when around those who are nor trusted. There are two sentences written about this that resonated with me: If I allow my boundaries to be violated repeatedly, I am a volunteer rather than a victim. Its my responsibility to stick with people who are affirming and trustworthy and to limit my exposure to those who are not.

When I began to feel the confidence to speak up about what was and was not acceptable in my life, I started breaking out of the take on everything, feel like a martyr, get resentful cycle. The Thought for the Day says this with clarity: I demonstrate dignity and respect for myself and for otters when I honor my values as well as theirs.

I hope everyone enjoys a peaceful Sunday:)



~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 641

Thank you so much Mary for your service, today's reading and your ESH.

I still struggle with the 'A' in my life when it comes to how I am spoken to on a regular daily basis.

I have to place priorities on what I respond to otherwise I am constantly responding. 'A' is just a

very combative individual. So I weigh the importance first, time and place as well. I am still a work

in progress!! ODAT!

Happy Sunday to you and to the MIP Family today!


"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it

does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart". ~ unknown


Senior Member

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Posts: 270

Thanks Mary for you service and to you and Debb for your shares.  It's been a process to move from fear of confrontation and people pleasing to self actualization. Others will do what others will do but I've never been without choices. Grateful for Al-anon recovery and newfound courage to face myself honestly and take care of myself one day at a time. Today, trust in myself and what I'm feeling and a loving higher power allows for some flexibility in personal boundaries. With that said, safety is always first consideration with people, places, things. I trust my gut and if in doubt, don't.

Power of discernment was clearly lacking when I first came to Al-anon. Being liked, accepted, belonging due to lack of self worth was everything. Until then, I had been routinely acted upon by others with self seeking motives and even volunteered for it. I was attracted to such people because I mistook their grandiosity for likeability, their risk taking for courage and their arrogance for confidence. Feeling meek, I longed for these qualities and was unable to find them in myself. Such outward esteeming continued until Al-anon and personal step work.  Al-anon step work helped to foster healthier behaviors, choices, self care, respect and healthier expectation of accountability; boundaries related to myself and others. When we know better, we do better. So grateful for a healthier self today.




Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.

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