The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
After losing their Father because of Alcoholism, and then their Mother a few years later, the writer felt abandoned by God. But because of that they were confused,,and of how it affected them in all aspects of their life. But they found solace in Nature, having Peace when they were alone with Nature.
After many years later, finding Al-Anon, there was a lot of mention about God, who they knew they didn't have a relationship with. They knew if they wanted to work the first 3 Steps, they would have to find one. They started to recall of their Boyhood times in/with Nature, and how it comforted him. I was then he realized that his God had allowed him to heal slowly, in his own time and that He had never left him. He had just stepped back, until He knew that he was ready to reestablish a relationship with Him.
That is part of my story, after being in Al-Anon for a number of years, having and finding a different HP, than the testing one that I had pre Al-Anon. Iwas sharing with a friend of how I had done Step 3, Giving my Will and Life, over to my HP, who was now my friend. It was as if a light when on in my head, and My HP, spoke to me, telling me that I had given Him my life, but not my Will. On looking at it I realized, I hadn't, I had always kept Him behind me. When I thought about giving Him my Will, I went into panic mode.Oh did I struggle with it.
Why, because of dealing with I had to all of my life, I knew and felt that my will {which was so strong] was all of me. That was kept me together, as long as I had that, I could go through anything. Now I was being asked by Someone, I couldn't touch, see, to give it to Him. I thought there would be nothing left of me, I would be empty, and at the mercy of everyone, and everything. It took me a long, long time, to reason it out with myself. Asking myself, who has always looked after you, who has always been there for you, when no one else has been, who is the one you can trust. So after my deliberation withing myself, I could actually feel when I handed it over.
Did I fall to pieces, no. What has the result of it, I have found Peace, when something happens in my life. I no longer fight with my HP. Because I know that now He has it, He isn't going to give it back to me. As He knew He had such a struggle to get it off me, and I always told my Al-Anon friends, putting up with me, He would have had to have a Sponsor. But, too, like this sharing in Hope For Today, my God didn't ask anything of me, until He knew that I was ready to give it to Him.
The thought for that day was."My shifting thoughts and feelings cannot comprehend the breadth and depth of my Higher Power's Care for me."
'It is quiet easy to look at my past and see that God was working at all times in my life.
Thank you Wendy for your ESH. I too developed a relationship with my HP later in life, but in hindsight realized my HP had helped me all all throughout my life. Program reinforces what I came to believe before recovery. All good!
Thank you Wendy. Your share loosened my grip on two old enemies creeping in-fear and control. I am in sync with Lyne and Debbie. I used to believe I was a very lucky person. I can recall countless occasions where I experienced outcomes that defied human logic. Al-Anon provides me with tools to practice L.U.C.K (Love, Understanding, Compassion , Kindness). In doing so, I strengthen my relationship with my Higher Power.
