The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Todays reading is about what we do when we realize we have the strength and ability to make changes in our lives. The writer describes passing a frozen lake, including a spot with some cracks in it where ducks had been swimming. One of the ducks tried to get to the other side by scrambling over the thin sheet of ice, repeating with the motion until the ice began to crack. It seemed the duck forgot that another option was to take flight. The writer saw this as a metaphor for how often we insist on trying to do the same thing over and over again and expect that the outcome might be different. The writer began looking at the tools within alanon to find his/her wings and net become mired in the legacy of the alcoholic family.
I remember at one point in my life, recognizing that I was playing a part in the cycle of alcoholism in my house. It was not about one person making changes or not, it involved me too! It was a revelation, and also emboldened me to make changes that helped bring peacefulness in and replace the chaos that had been taking up so much space. The writer references the fourth step and taking a personal inventory to see strengths as well as character defects. It was difficult for me to name strengths alongside all of the defects I could very easily name, but practicing this has helped me build my confidence, just as the writer noted in this reading.
The quotation from Living Today in Alateen (p55): This program has shown me that I have choices. I could stay the way I was, or I could change.
Thank you for sharing this great page and for your ESH.
This is such a powerful concept in Alanon recovery, it is always helpful for me to recall that realization you describe in my own life, the push me over with a feather moment of dawning followed by an incredible excitement as I realized the implications: I need not rely any longer on the desperate need for someone else to change in order for me to experience change in the relationship. I was no longer subject to their choices and behavior as frames of my present and future...an astounding revelation.
When I think of this, I often picture two plotted points making a line (or perhaps a segment or ray, technically ). If one point will not or cannot be moved, the other can pivot 360 degrees to entirely change the line of direction. This visual helps me remember the power of Alanon lies, not in directly changing the position of others, but first the perspective, then thoughts and behaviors of myself.
There are no limits on the changes I can make, I truly do have a choice....change my perspective, change the world...grateful for the wisdom of the program
__________________
Paul
"...when we try to control others, we lose the ability to manage our own lives." - Paths to Recovery
). If one point will not or cannot be moved, the other can pivot 360 degrees to entirely change the line of direction. This visual helps me remember the power of Alanon lies, not in directly changing the position of others, but first the perspective, then thoughts and behaviors of myself.