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Post Info TOPIC: C2C – October 14, 2022


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 641
Date:
C2C – October 14, 2022


Todays reading focuses on the Tenth Step.  How the author tries to keep check on

how their mistaken "opinions i.e.:  prejudices, assumptions, self-righteousness and attitudes,"

affect their interactions and realties when it comes to dealing with other people and situations. 

The author reminds us that the Tenth Step helps to take their personal inventory in those areas

of personality where they tend to make these mistakes and that trusting their Higher Power

helps smooth out those mistaken traits. 

Reminder:  "It is not easy task to change the thinking of a lifetime, even when I am sure that

I want to change."  "The Tenth Step allows me to be aware of sliding back into faulty thinking." 

"I dont have to abuse myself when it happens, that doesnt help at all."  "By promptly admitting

when Im wrong, I am doing what I can to change."

I found that working the Tenth Step daily is a rewarding challenge, but so worth the work.

The reward has been peace for me because when I am judgmental is when I am the most 

unsettled.  TGIF MIP Family!!

Have you found the same reward(s)?



__________________

"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it

does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart". ~ unknown

Debbie



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Thank you Debbie for your service and share. I certainly relate to sliding back into faulty thinking and trying not to abuse myself when that happens. I think I've reached a point in my recovery where I don't have to consciously think of the 10th step. I am aware often when my thinking is poor and if I call myself a name--I say "stop it" right away. If I think I've hurt or done wrong to someone I address it. And when I need to I remind myself that my thinking is off and I need to change the topic--that's usually a good time for the Serenity Prayer. I'm a work in progress and yes it is a lot of work to change years of bad habits, but I also want to feel at peace and that means not harming myself or others.

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Lyne



Senior Member

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Thanks Deb for your service and to you and lyne for sharing. My own slips in this area are usually due to my spiritual condition. My daily inventory involves not simply recounting my day and actions at the end of the day and offering gratitude to my hp for lessons. My daily inventory includes checking on my feelings all day long and taking self care related actions. Trouble occurs when I choose to ignore what I am feeling because I believe I'm powerless to change it and choose instead to just keep pushing through my day. This is when stinking thinking begins to set in. It's in denying feelings of vulnerability and trying to replace them with self control (stuffing feelings) that physical, emotional and spiritual unwellness begin to fester. That often results in resentments not based on facts but rather on self sabotage aka faulty thinking.

As I grow to know myself more through Al-anon recovery, part of my progress is to be truly open to knowing others. The slogan that most encompasses continuing to make Al-anon progress is Keep an Open Mind. It reminds me that I am not powerless to change in positive ways and have more serenity in my days rather than self imposed angst. 

I've found the remedy for my dis-ease is to use detachment when I am either uncomfortable or have decided that I don't agree with what another person is saying. At times I have literally stopped listening to them and said the Serenity Prayer. This in itself is skewed thinking because I'm putting myself and my own thinking on a pedestal and praying for tolerance of someone I deem "less." So I've learned that both detachment and the Serenity Prayer are great program tools but not when used as a form of denial.

Just an observation, do you feel as I do that our daily readers were giving book titles that are truly inspiring? One Day at a Time, Hope for Today, Courage to Change. Those book titles offer encouragement to the reader that I can recover and keep moving forward in my recovery. :)

Some goals for overcoming faulty thinking and utilizing the slogan Keep an Open Mind, have been to listen attentively and remain fully present for the Al-anon message at meetings and to separate out who is delivering the message. I've often heard it said in our program that our hp speaks to us through others.

I also try to apply this concept in my home by not judging or making assumptions based on past behaviors and choices concerning both myself and others involved. Keep an Open Mind when worked honestly can result in positive change and progress in my relationships with others and living a reasonably content life.

Another way I am working this slogan is by remaining open to the ideas, opinions, perspective and choices of others. What can I learn from others? Can I utilize any of these lessons in my own life. When I Keep an Open Mind, I am perhaps taking a program action to change a shortcoming - self righteousness. I humble myself to admit that I don't have all of the answers for others nor myself. I can and do take things a step further today and ask another person for clarity on why they feel or think what they think. There's a lot to learn and I can make the choice to remain teachable. I can express gratitude to another for their openness. I can establish trust and continue to grow relationships if I can be trusted to respect the viewpoints and choices of others; not try to change them. I can ask to present my own viewpoint or choice to them but not with a motive of manipulation, for purposes of forcing the outcome of my own liking. I can continue to choose what is best for myself but with openness to choices others have made.  I may have more options now. I can ask for their help and that of my higher power, express gratitude. Life will be a lonely ride if I persist in rigid thinking or seek perfection in myself and others. I don't have to like everything about a person to accept, value, love them. I can turn the finger inward first concerning that statement -  Let It Begin with Me as my hp's work in progress.

 

 

 

 



-- Edited by tiredtonite on Saturday 15th of October 2022 09:35:48 AM

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Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.



~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 641
Date:

Lovely shares Lyne and TT. Thank you so much for this conversation and others as well.

I always learn from you both when we share our thoughts and experience!!

__________________

"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it

does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart". ~ unknown

Debbie



Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 347
Date:
RE:


Thank you Debbie for providing me with a rewarding challenge yesterday. It was my mother- in- law's funeral and this helped me set internal boundaries to conduct myself in a manner that would leave little to no room for regrets. I am proud to note I fit myself to be of service and in awkward situations, I placed principles above personalities. Today I skipped my (much needed) meeting and when I checked MIP, I discovered additional in-depth sharing that gives me new material to reflect upon as I putter around the house. Thank you all. You have no idea how much you help me in becoming more spiritually grounded.

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~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 641
Date:
C2C – October 14, 2022


Sending you peaceful thoughts {{Daffodils}} and so happy you are finding your serenity

at such a difficult time.

__________________

"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it

does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart". ~ unknown

Debbie



Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 270
Date:

Daffodils, Thoughts and prayers for your family at this difficult time. Have appreciated reading ways you've practiced the principles of Al-anon during this family crisis. ((hugs))



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Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.

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