The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
He was drinking again last night during the Euchre tournament.
He said the most horrible things to me when we got home.
I tried to tell myself it is the disease talking, it still cut deep.
He said I dont turn him on anymore, he is not sure we are compatible, he does not know if he wants to be with me....all because, he said I am a Christian, Pro Life and voted for Bush not once but twice - and he cannot stand that.
I told him I will not stop being a Christian or change my beliefs, I dont trust him anymore....blah blah blah...it started again this morning, he said he is going to go back to AA meetings, he took me to breakfast this morning, told me how sorry he is, he loves me, he sent me a text message telling me I am too good to him, I want to believe it can change and will, but I am starting to get a reality check from Al Anon and know I cannot count on anything.
Very depressed today...even though seems things are looking positive for today.
Don't you think it's ironic that he says these things while he's drunk? He's mad at himself, hon. He's probably disgusted at himself for being out of control. That comes out in nasty comments toward you.
If he can bring you down to his level, then his level doesn't feel so despicable and lonely. That's precisely why we stay focused on us. We try not to let them take us there. We walk away and ignore the comments without commenting back. When they go on and on and get no response, maybe, just maybe it dawns on them what jerks they are being and that their life is out of control. It's a pretty lonely place to be all by yourself. You don't have to attend the fights. Alanon suggests to try to walk away and busy yourself with other things. He knows this is a trigger for you and keeps pushing the same buttons. As long as you continue to have the same reaction, the cycle will continue.
"Nothing changes if nothing changes" "Let it begin with me"
Hang in there Christy
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
Christy has some wonderful points and ESH to share. It's not about you (is that confusing or what?) ha ha. It's about them; however, we have the choice to make it about us when we take on the information that the A projects onto us.
Great job, great progress ~
Maria123
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If I am not for me, who will be? If I am only for myself, then who am I? If not now, when?
Words cut like knives.. It stinks.. When he drinks and try to picture a silly drunk man talking to a beautiful princess and all you hear when he opens his mouth is ( blablabla ) or maybe that commercial where the man is eating cereal and cant hear is boss talking for the crunchy cereal !!! May sound silly but do whatever it takes to help get thru those difficult times.
